This morning, I came across to an eye-opening article written by Sridhar Pappu titled “Meet the New York Bachelors Who Yearn for Something More” in the New York Times. It was published on January 7. As a woman, I often wonder why many men (especially good looking and successful one) stay single and just like to sleep around –I am not saying that there are no women who sleep around as well-. I also often wonder whether they want to be a relationship and build a family or not. If not, why? If yes, why do they still stay single?
As I read this article, I somehow found the answers that I have been looking for that many of them actually long for something more.
It then got me thinking. When we are young, engaging in serial dating can be fun sometimes until we realize that it is just wasting our time and energy. But the sad truth is we are not getting younger.
There will be a time where we want to have someone to come home to and share our story about anything even the silliest thing. However, being in a relationship is not easy, getting married is not a magical as Cinderella story either. Why? It is because there are so many things that we have to give up and sacrifice. It even gets harder when both of them are ambitious people.
Even sometimes, you might come across to the point where your marriage or your relationship does not work anymore and it must be ended. But then again, leaving the one that we loved and started another relationship is not as easy as changing your clothes. It requires a lot of efforts. It is just very tiring.
In our life, we often long for an intimate relationship with the right one but finding the right one seems to be hard. Yet, the good news is there is no deadline to find the right one.
Many young people want to get married to their lover. They feel that their lover is the love of their life. It would be perfect to live together for the rest of their life. But I wonder whether they really understand what marriage is?
Well… I guess we have been indoctrinated with happily ever after Cinderella story without being shown what happens next after she got married to the prince. Who knows that they try killing each other…. ?! No?
That is why I do not like to attend a wedding party.
The reason why people like to talking bad about other people or gossiping because that’s the only way to put themselves in the conversation and other’s people mind. While they usually would not be in anybody’s mind. They realise that they are nobody, living nobody’s life and they want to be noticed. So…. anything that ‘nobody’ can say to put themselves in mind or on the mouth of somebody, that is what they are going to do and continue to do. Right?
Yesterday a good friend of mine, Mahel told me that the Magdalene finally featured my first baby “Bule Hunter”. The article titled “What ‘Bule Hunters’ Wants’ was written by Sebastian Partogi, a Jakarta based feminist writer. I felt so thrilled with it. Thank you for featuring my first book…. the Magdalene.
Readers …. Check the article out!
The Eyes [2014: Yuventius Nicky]
Indonesian women who have Western partners or husbands are often met with negative, sometimes harsh judgment from people around them, from gold diggers to exotic-looking harlots.
When you see an Indonesian woman with brown complexion walking together with a Western man, for example, you might hear responses like, “Why on Earth would a bule want to be with a woman with a tampang babu?”
Bule is an Indonesian slang word for Westerners, while tampang babu means the face of a domestic help.
Irked by such stereotypes, Jakarta-based writer Elisabeth Oktofani decided to write a book called Bule Hunter: Kisah Wanita Pemburu Bule (Bule Hunter: Tales of Women who Pursue Western Men). Published by Rene Books this year, it is based on her interviews with several women with Western partners to understand their motivation in pursuing the men. Read more here