Notes: Good People, Good Heart

www.catatanfani.comSometimes I wonder, where are the good people going? Sometimes, I feel that there are not many good genuinely kind people around. If some are being  too kind, I often think that there must be motivation behind that. Or if some are being too friendly, sometimes I think that they would just blast me in the back. But then, I guess I am wrong. I guess I am too blind to see the fact that actually there are so many genuinely good people around me.

So today, I went to Coldstone, an ice cream shop in Gulshan 1. I went there, not to have ice cream but to have a cup of cappuccino and a piece of brownie. I love their coffee and I love their brownies because it’s not too sweet and very moist. It’s just finger-licking good and it seems that I am addicted to it. “Oh nooo…..! Is it gonna be another coffee cake disaster again?

Anyway, as am in love with their brownies, I somehow become their regular customer for coffee and brownies, not their ice cream. Even one of the waiters started noticing me and always remembering my order. I vividly remember when I ordered coffee and brownies without ice cream for the very first time, he raised his eyes brows and asked “Only brownies?” and I said “Yes, only brownie!

It came across to me that somehow he  found it strange because many of them came to Coldstone to have ice cream but I only ordered coffee. So he tried to assure himself that what he heard was correct and asked me similar question every time I went there. “Ma’am, you don’t want ice cream?” and I answered “No. I just want coffee and brownies please. I love your brownies because it’s not so sweet and very moist,

As I finished having my coffee, I asked for bill and this waiters somehow surprised me by giving me four pieces of free brownies. “Ma’am, this is for you, from me.” He said politely with friendly sweet smile. I was somehow moved by his act of kindness.

I must say that this is not the first that I encountered with this kind of circumstance. Yesterday for instance, my personal trainer gave me a big surprise, one unit of bicycle. I know some people might find it strange but it doesn’t matter to me. Or last year for instance, my nanny gave me a set of clothes for baby A when he was born. It was a set of nice clothes. Or, the day when my driver brought me green coconut or fruit or vegetable from his villages. Or, my Indonesian friends who invited me to have some homemade mouthwatering Indonesian food in the last minute. Or, the day, one of wise Indonesian lady dropped me a package of vegetable.

These occasions got me thinking and reflecting that some of these people are just ordinary people. Some of these people might not earn a fortune. Yet, they always try to give the best to their boss or friends by spending large amount of money to give the best present to their boss as a form of gratitude or the best gift to their friends as an act of kindness.

Although I must say that some of us sometimes might think “Oh, they want more money that’s why they give us this kind of gift,” or “Oh, it’s just a way for them to show their gratitude for giving them job and treating them well as they know that some of their peers are not as lucky as they are. So they are just genuinely being kind,” or they are just simple people with good heart, expect nothing in return. Right?

Meanwhile, we, the upper middle class or the educated people, often time count how much money we want to spend on gift to a family or friend, which is also not bad as we must always be aware with our cash flow. Or, some even have to brag how much money they have spent on a gift to their friend and complained how cheap and worthless gift they got as a return simply because they wanna show how generous they are while the rest are just plain old cheap people. “Ooo boy

As a conclusion, the occasion taught and showed me that many ordinary people tend to have genuine heart than the upper middle class people who tend to be busy counting every penny that they have and/or or being suspicious or being to calculative in their move. Of course, we cannot generalize them all. Yet, I believe that being kind is so easy and it is free of charge. Yet, sometimes I wonder why aren’t we doing that more often?! I asked myself and I don’t know the exact answer. I guess we are too critical or too suspicious or too calculative in our move. Hence we often have trust issue with people around us.

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Catatan: Dupata

www.catatanfani.comPada suatu kesempatan, seorang kawan laki-laki dari Bangladesh mengatakan pada saya bahwa banyak perempuan Bangladesh tidak menggunakan dupata (scarf) untuk menutupi payudara mereka. Apalagi tak sedikit dari mereka memiliki payudara yang besar. Dia menganggap bahwa hal ini sangat tidak baik karena banyak laki-laki yang akan melihat payudara yang perempuan tersebut dan menimbulkan niat jahat termasuk pelecehan seksual maupun pemerkosaan. Mendengarkan pernyataan tersebut, saya pun mengernyitkan kening.

“Kenapa perempuan yang salah?” tanya saya.

“Karena mereka tidak menutupi payudara mereka,” katanya.

“Lho mereka sudah menggunakan kameez, berlengan panjang dan gombrong pula.” kata saya.

“Ya tetap kurang!” katanya kekeuh.

“Kalau laki-laki yang menjadi bernapsu, kenapa perempuan yang repot? Bukankah kalian harus mengontrol napsu kalian?” kata saya mempertanyakan pendapatnya. Kawan saya pun terdiam.

“Nah, saya selalu datang ke gym ini menggunakan sport bra atau tank top dan celana pendek. Kalau ada yang melecehkan saya, apakah kamu akan bilang itu salah saya?”

Dia kembali diam. Mungkin mengiyakan pendapat saya.

“Dulu saya pernah dijambret. Seorang ibu mengatakan itu salah saya karena saya pakai kutang. Aneh kan? Wong penjambret mau emas kok baju saya yang disalahkan? Lagipula kamu punya dua anak perempuan, suatu saat mereka akan memilih jalan mereka masing-masing. Apakah dengan memberikan baju yang tertutup berarti melindungi mereka dari pelecehan seksual? Tentu tidak! Berapa banyak yang diperkosa karena menggunakan hijab atau burqa?” kawan sayapun tetap diam.

Diam entah karena tidak setuju atau diam karena tidak bisa mengekspresikan pendapatnya dalam bahasa Inggris.

Bagi saya, laki-laki yang tidak bisa mengontrol nafsu mereka tetapi kenapa perempuan yang harus repot. Melihat tetek sedikit ngeceng, ngelihat kaki ngeceng, melihat lengan ngeceng. Hadeeeeh! Percuma beragama tapi berkelakuan seperti binatang. Ya toh? Tentu hal ini tidak hanya terjadi di Bangladesh saja tetapi di tengah masyarakat tradisional mana saja.

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Notes: Losing Your Body? Nah!

www.catatanfani.com (1)Many people say that once a woman becomes a mother, she will lose her body, become fat and have jiggly yet flabby body especially those who has baby delivered through c-section including me. Don’t even dream to get your body back, so they say. But here I am, I prove them wrong. You can still have a well-shape body even you have many children be it through normal delivery and/or c-section.

I started getting back to my training regime at seventh weeks postpartum. I must say that I didn’t find it easy. Sometimes I got frustrated because I didn’t seem to lose any baby fat after working out for one month. Sometimes I got frustrated or even depressed because l only run at the slow pace. Sometimes I even gave up, just sat down, did no exercises for hours and just played with my phone because I felt that I did not make any progress. 

But one day, I said to myself “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just started again,” so I started to take it easy that time. I just forgot about the aesthetics result and just focused on the form of my exercise as well as my diet.

At the end, aesthetic result is not my main exercise’s goal but sanity is. As a result, I got my body back faster than I expected as you can see on the picture above. 

Ps: no whey protein is being used. It’s all natural diet.

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Catatan: Melarat

IMG_8309Terlalu banyak manusia takut jadi melarat atau takut hanya dibilang melarat. Mereka merasa tak akan ada yang mau mendekati mereka kalau mereka melarat. Mereka merasa tak keren lagi. Oleh karena itu, mereka berbondong-bondong dan berdesakan ke depan untuk terlihat kaya. Melambaikan tangan pada dunia dan berteriak betapa kayanya mereka padahal mereka … mereka… mereka tidak betul-betul kaya.  “Bah… apa salahnya jadi melarat?” pikirku.

Aku jadi ingat ketika aku sempat bilang bahwa aku tak punya uang. Mereka terheran-heran lalu mengernyitkan alis mata dan bertanya “Masa sih?”. Tentu ada kalanya orang tak punya uang karena mereka memiliki prioritas lain. Ya toh? Kalau kita iyakan setiap perkataan orang, tekorlah kita. Ya toh?

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Catatan: Kosong

IMG_0941Waktu malam menjejakkan kaki, tak jarang kekosongan mengekor. Seolah dipanggil, ia selalu ramah menyapa dan aku selalu ingin mengabaikannya. Ia, kekosongan, memaksaku untuk berbicara dengan mereka-mereka yang nun jauh di sana. Basa-basi di balik layar, ngobrol ngalor-ngidul tanpa arah. Malam makin larut, mereka menghilang satu persatu. Dan hanya kekosongan yang lagi-lagi menemaniku.

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