Tag Archives: human
Let’s ask ourselves these questions. Do you put heavy make-up to cover your pimple or skin imperfection? Do you need to purchase brand-name products? Do you max out your credit card to purchase fancy things that you cannot afford it? Do you use a photo filter or photoshop before you upload your photo online? Do you work in a company only for a monthly pay-cheque? Do you cheat on your lover or partner and stay in a relationship even you are no longer happy? Do you know that all of those are the form of lie and there are just many more form of lies out there?
Well, individual is not the only liar in our society. The governments lie, the companies lie, the religious institutions lie, the politicians lie, the religious leaders lie, the public figures lie and almost all the citizens lie. Eventually, almost all of us are liars.
However, have you ever asked yourself why you need to lie? I believe that we begin to lie because our society often tell us that we are not good enough as individuals. They say “You are not good enough because of your skin color”; “You are not good enough because of your ethnicity background”; “You are not good enough because of your weight”; “You are not good enough because of your job”. And you are just not good in so many ways.
Their judgment makes us feeling insecure; their judgment makes us to not accept yourself; and their judgment makes us feeling to have the need to fulfill their demand/ requirements. The worse, their judgment makes you to stop loving yourself unconditionally. Ultimately, you have the need to lie. We do it consciously or unconsciously, to other people as well as to ourselves. As a result, we become liars.
We do not know anymore whether we need to keep our mouth shut and tell the truth or we just need to lie. At the end, lying seems to be much easier than being honest and truthful; being perfect seems to be more acceptable than being imperfect and that is what our society want from us… to be perfect! Hence, we lie. Correct me if I was wrong!
and it is started! Free writing game. It is only two weeks before I am leaving Jakart to Canada. This morning, on my way to work, I passed the kuningan intersection. I looked at to the right and I saw Jalan Gatot Subroto. I said to myself… God… it is Friday. I only two more Friday night in this town. IN these last three years, i have been having various and fun friday night. I passed this road, I passed Sudirman road, I passed Gatot Subroto road, I passed block M road, I passed Seenen road…. and sometimes I am unconcious. Not really… it was wrong word… since i cannot delet my previous type or edit it….
i am gonna repeat what i wrote… i was typesse. i mean tipsy… i had so much do i mean i had so much too drink. i vividly remember that i always dressed to the nine! I put my best dress, my best shoes and my best cloth…. best clutch. it has been sometimes or a while since the last time i hit the dance floor. sometimes i missed it, sometimes i didnt. it was just fun night. i had plenty of fun friday night./ untuol … i mean until i realised that he was not real, he is not a true friend, he just wanna make money out of money. i did not know what i am saying was right or wrong but it was… i mean that is what i feel. heart broken.! it was a straight up wake up call that i should not trust anybody that i must trust nobody. too many artificial friendship and relationship here, so many fake people here.
Yet… sometimes i still believe that he might alo also be agood person on the side. but i dont know. i cannot tell and i will not judge. anyhow…… I trustu nobody and ohhhh… i i i i dont know what i am going to write now. i just dont kno… i dont want to write about the bitter memory. i dont want to write about bad experience. i wonder why i keep wanting to write this. is it because i havent been able to move on? is it because i have not been able to forgive him? is it because it was a really really strong straight up wake up call? perhaps! it is better to feel the pain now than waiting for another years.
I am g… i mean i know i am going to continue climbing, i will be a good …. i will do good for my future. and i must say that i am happy to leave my past behind.
I have been focusing on my work and my health this day, i have been focus on myself lately. i am happy. i dont think about other poeple but myself. everyday… i am trying hard very hard to over.. to overcome my depression by myself. i try to keep running, running further away, running harder… runnning and runnning…. just to overcome my depression. Yes, i often heard people talking or asking me whether i am an athlete or not, or the other day i over heard some television crew said that i have an athletic figure, i am very flattered actually. anyhow……….
what am i gouing to write next? I dont know… yet… i am looking forward for my trip to canada next week. it is going to be my longest journey since i moved to jakarta. since i moved to jakarta, i only left Jakarta for three weeks to Canada in 2011-2012. Since then. it was always a short holiday less than one week. I did not even thjink to go home before i leave to Canada.
Jakarta … it has been a wonderful place. it is a real place to learn about life… you c…. for me… jakarta is a melting pot. you will see all kind of people… the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. the rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. politician, business people, student, foreigner, local people… so many…. you can find all kind of people in Jakarta. I learnt alot here…….
shit and i still have 6 minute…. what am i gonna write next? I dont know yet. i cannot look at my writing to review it before i have it published. it must be very messy. I just got home anyway and i need to shower and just sleep. i am going to do my morning run tomorrow. I have to leave very early because i also had a conferece … conference and seminar to attend by 8 a.m. i am so looking forward for tomorrow…
ooooooo what am i gonna do next? I think i have been eating alot today….. I am so full. lol! ……
i have been reading what you wrote. you talked… you talked about the education of your sons. welll at least, he would do something real than being a … nah! I am not gonna say it here. let me just keep it inside my head.
… i dont know… oh i have been crazy in love with kendrick lamar music since he dropped pimp the butterfly album. it is so s… it is so dope… super duper dope! I love the lyrics of most of his songs at that album. Unlike most of hip hop musician, who keep talking about money. Kendrick talks about life, reflection of life. It is close to something real. …. what next?!…. okay few more second…. what else should i write? I dont know…… i am sleepy and i need to shower……… i want to drink my strawberry milk now. what? is it finished yet?
jakarta… ta … jakarta thank you! Thank you for everything!
- O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
- From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
- That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.