Let’s ask ourselves these questions. Do you put heavy make-up to cover your pimple or skin imperfection? Do you need to purchase brand-name products? Do you max out your credit card to purchase fancy things that you cannot afford it? Do you use a photo filter or photoshop before you upload your photo online? Do you work in a company only for a monthly pay-cheque? Do you cheat on your lover or partner and stay in a relationship even you are no longer happy? Do you know that all of those are the form of lie and there are just many more forms of lies out there?
Well, the individual is not the only liar in our society. The governments lie, the companies lie, the religious institutions lie, the politicians lie, the religious leaders lie, the public figures lie and almost all the citizens lie. Eventually, almost all of us are liars.
However, have you ever asked yourself why you need to lie? I believe that we begin to lie because our society often tells us that we are not good enough as individuals. They say “You are not good enough because of your skin colour”; “You are not good enough because of your ethnicity background”; “You are not good enough because of your weight”; “You are not good enough because of your job”. And you are just not good in so many ways.
Their judgment makes us feeling insecure; their judgment makes us to not accept yourself, and their judgment makes us feel to have the need to fulfil their demand/ requirements. The worse, their judgment makes you stop loving yourself unconditionally. Ultimately, you have the need to lie. We do it consciously or unconsciously, to other people as well as to ourselves. As a result, we become liars.
We do not know anymore whether we need to keep our mouth shut and tell the truth or we just need to lie. In the end, lying seems to be much easier than being honest and truthful; being perfect seems to be more acceptable than being imperfect and that is what our society wants from us… to be perfect! Hence, we lie. Correct me if I was wrong!
- O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
- From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
- From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
- That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
- That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Wait…. that’s what I just discovered! Whether were I really unable to deal with the current life situation well or was it just my negative mindset?
Well let me tell you something, I always said to myself that I must always remove my negative thinking when I have/want/need to do something. No matter how difficult my task is… I MUST NOT say that I CANNOT. Instead I MUST say that I CAN. If I have belief in myself that I can do it, surely I will be able to finish any task, which is given to me. Why did I say that?
Few years ago when I was working for an english newspaper, I was asked to write four stories. It was 2 p.m and the deadline was at 7 p.m. I could not say NO and I would not say No. Instead I said yes. I said to myself that I CAN finish it and I WILL finish it. Even though I didn’t meet the deadline on time, I was able to finish and submit all the stories. I was relieved. I was happy knowing that I had the ability to do it.
Somehow when I worked on those article, I felt no burden at all. Instead I was enjoying it. But here was the key, I believed that I would not do anything properly without God’s help. (I know I might sound so religious but that’s what I believe : ). I believe in God’s grace).
So as I reflected into my current life’s situation and how I dealt with it, I just felt that the negativity has corrupted my life. It was just a constant complaint. I always said to myself how unhappy I am, how stressful my life is, how difficult my life is, how hard my life is, etc etc etc. Yes perhaps I am unhappy with the current situation but shouldn’t I just consider it as a test from God?
Well I often said to myself that this difficult life would be just temporary, it wouldn’t stay forever as what Saint Paul said There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)”
And again Jesus also said “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
So why couldn’t I deal with my current life situation well? I think it is because I was surrounded by people with negative thinking and somehow it effected to me. No I did not mean to blame anyone here. But now I learnt whenever all those negative opinion comes closer to me, it is better for me to walk away or close my ears to ignore it.
It all comes down to our mindset. If we have a positive mindset, we would deal with difficulty positively, led us to positive attitude and finally we would not feel that we carry a heavy burden. But if we have a negative mindset, we would deal with difficulty with negative attitude, give us frustration and and life getting hard for us everyday.
I am glad that I have been introduced to God since I was child through Catholic belief. Even though there was a stage of life when I did not want to be tied to any religion but still believed in God, I just found that religious value has taught me something which gives me peace of mind.
Instead of running to alcohol or nicotine when I got upset (I used to drink a lot but was not an alcoholic, just a cocktail lover. And I knew I smoked few days ago but I rarely did it), I just picked my bible and read it. It might not give me a solution right away but it gives me peace of mind. And that’s all I need.
For me, life is about constant reflection. Perhaps some people might think that I am drama queen or melancholic bitch whenever I share my problem or point of view of life in my blog but I don’t really care anyway. This is how the way I live my life.
And I just realized that God actually has answered my prayers. Even though it was not a jackpot but God has provided a lot of good things to me during this trial of life. It might not be the best but God always provided for us.
Sometimes we just have to appreciate the small stuff because we are blessed more than we realize. I just believed that God would answer my prayers in His own time in His own way.
Have a blessed Sunday readers!
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoice in the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tounge, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away – 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind et each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for their own interests but also for the interest of others- Philippians 2: 3-4
When we hold our tongue and listen, we communicate our care. For an open ear speaks volume to a heart that’s in despair – Sper