When I write, I do not need to present a picture-perfect of life. My writing is often close to telling the truth. I am just trying to speak the truth about things that affect me, about things that happen in our society. My writing is written with my perspective as watcher as well as a doer.
You know… I also often consider that my writing is often very spiritual because it is all about emotion, it is all about life. It is because I just try to reveal myself, tell my personal own problem and even lay all my deepest darkest secret because they are part of reality. It is my own reality, which sometimes can better or even worse than yours.
Yes, I choose to present the reality of life. I know that sometimes reality is bitter and painful but that is real life. As a result, I do expect no controversy because controversy is the beginning of the public discussion, which helps to understand life better.
Perhaps some of you wonder why I like to share my personal problem in social media, i.e blog. Well, I am the type of person who I always have a reason why I do thing things whether why I shave my hair off, why I go to the gym or even why I blog about my personal life.
So why do I blog about my personal life? Once I read a blog post saying that writing a journal would help our personal growth and development because it would give us an insight into our behaviour and moods. I kind of agree with that statement, especially I have been writing a personal diary since I was a little girl and have been blogging since I was 16. I found that writing a journal would help me to reflect on my life especially everything that I have been going through. On top of that, I also can review the improvement of my writing skill and my vocabulary bank.
But I must say that I am not kind of person who likes to share my problem with my friend. It is not because I don’t trust them to keep my secret but I tend to not believe or trust their judgement. Not saying that they are wrong, it is just ….. their judgement tends to lead me to further confusion.
And the most annoying part of it is people would start being judgmental and telling you how wrong or even how stupid you are without understanding the circumstance. They would even start telling you that “you should not have done this and that… and bla bla bla”
Oh well… I guess it is our problem, we tend to listen to respond than listen to understand why the thing is going wrong with somebody’s else life. Am I right?
And those are the last thing that I want to hear from others especially when I know very well that they are not in my shoes. Yet, sometimes …. I still have a discussion with my friends also about my problem but not to seek for advice.
So what should I do if I need some advice? As I love reading the book and listening to music, I always would seek some advice from an inspirational book or inspirational songs. It helps me to reflect on my problem. Other than that, they would never judge me but tend to give me a wiser suggestion. That’s the best thing about it! Try it!
So that’s why I rather share my burden by blogging than talking to friends because I want to protect my feeling, to protect my heart and to prevent me from bad influences from others. But as humanely as possible, I am trying my best to not posting a harmful or sensitive blog anyhow. So bear with me readers….
So yesterday after running around meeting some people for my work, I started my first shooting sport class with pistol. It was fun and I really enjoy it. Unfortunately I have problem with my eyes where I have to wear glasses and it made me uncomfortable during the first trial. But in the end of the day, it was not bad! I scored 12 out of 40! I am looking forward for the next meeting.
Monogamy or whatever you call it
I’m starting to think it ain’t for everybody
Most of us is rushing into it anyways
Know what I’m sayin’
You ain’t rushin’ for love and I ain’t out here to judge
So lets neglect the what if’s and make it do what it does
Lets get it
Is it bad that, I never made love?
No I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck
I’ll be your bad girl, I’ll prove it to you
I can’t promise that I’ll be good to you
Cause I have some issues I won’t commit
No, not havin’ it
But at least I can admit
That I’ll be bad no to you (to you)
Yeah I’ll be good in bed
But I’ll be bad to you
Bad that, I never made love?
No I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck
Lets get it
Bad girls ain’t no good and the good girls ain’t no fun
And the hood girls want a smart niggaaaa
The college girls all want a thug
So it seems that fiend what we don’t need
Got a thing for a queen who know when to leave.
I ain’t about to judge you, don’t judge me
You ain’t gotta really sing about your rap sheet
Cause I heard you (bad no) yeah
In the literal sense I mean that
Rough sex saying I love you
But to kiss them saying you mean that (bad no)
I know I must be calling her mean ass
On the irony, got the bomb indeed
But the problem is probably a deep past
Still I’m feeling its something I need bad
Thinkin’ if I get her I get her to need this
I don’t need emotions to open your deep sea
I can see the ocean by going between your legs
Beg, nope, bed, floor, dope
Go, for it, couch, now, slow motion
Around, put it down
Lord know she as going for the morn
Hold up
Is it bad that, I never made love?
No I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck
I’ll be your bad girl, I’ll prove it to you
I can’t promise that I’ll be good to you
Cause I have some issues I won’t commit
No, not havin’ it
But at least I can admit
That I’ll be bad no to you (to you)
Yeah I’ll be good in bed
But I’ll be bad to you
She hurt feeling, she break hearts
She stay quiet, she play smart
She take pride, I’m going out
Getting hollered at, and saying nah
She no saint, but she don’t pose
She don’t wear make up by the boat load
Riding through the lake shore with the nose up
She don’t really date but it slows her up
She got haters but we all do
Heard you winter time cold, shawty fall through
Baby look at they approach how they court you
All those mind games never mind cause they all lose (bad no)
In the physical sense I mean that
I ain’t trynna kiss up, suck up, feed gas
I ain’t like them nigga you sucking your teeth at, nope
Play big trust me I’ll jumble your mean ass, look
Shawty is actually in prevent
Cause the one working in front
Is working with deep threat, yep
Bed, floor, couch, more
More, shower, Lord, perm
Done, love, nah
Called in the morning
Cell number wasn’t on, God
Is it bad that, I never made love?
No I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck
I’ll be your bad girl, I’ll prove it to you
I can’t promise that I’ll be good to you
Cause I have some issues I won’t commit
No, not havin’ it
But at least I can admit
That I’ll be bad no to you (to you)
Yeah I’ll be good in bed
But I’ll be bad to you
Bad that, I never made love
No I never did it
But I sure know how to fuck
I’ll be your ….
Preparation for ‘Tumis Daun Pucuk Labu’ [2013: Oktofani]
When it comes to food, I am actually quiet picky! I’d rather having a good homemade Indonesian food for lunch than having cheese burger and french fries from McDonald or steak with baked potato from any fancy good restaurant for dinner.
Since I moved to Jakarta, I always have a problem to find a good yet delicious homemade Indonesian food especially Javanese dish in Jakarta. Well, I would say that I can find hundred of them selling those homemade Indonesian food but most of them were tasteless. Whether the soto ayam is too oily, fried chicken is not well fried or tumis kangkung is too salty. It sucks. Man… I need a real food! I need a healthy, clean yet delicious Indonesian food.
Therefore, as I have been taught how to cook and any kind of recipes are available online, I start to use my cooking knowledge to cook my favorite Indonesian dish such as pepes ikan kembung, tumis kacang panjang, cah bayam, tempe goreng, pepes tahu, tumis daun singkong ikan teri, sayur asem, empal gepuk, tumis daging sapi or tumis bunga pepaya.
Sometimes I also make Western food such as broccoli pasta, salmon steak or beef steak. But it is very rarely.
I always make sure that I have complete source of nutrition on the table for my family. I always make a vegetable dish, meat or fish, rice and sambal in my dining table. I love the idea of always having healthy food. It is just perfect for everybody! I even am in love with my own cooking! I love cooking!
Actually I like the idea of fancy dining in a good French, Italian or Japanese restaurant with a good bottle of wine. I like the culture of it where we can enjoy our meal, have fun and have a conversation over wine. But I am just not a big fans of Western food.
You know what they say? You can take the girl out of the village but you cannot take the village out of her. I love Indonesian food so much.
Tumis Daun Pucuk Labu [2013: Oktofani]
Tumis Bunga Pepaya [2012: Oktofani]
Pepes Tahu [2013: Oktofani]
Preparation for Pepes Ikan Kembung [2013: Oktofani]
Salmon Steak with Vegetable Salad [2012: Oktofani]
Tumis Kacang Panjang, Nasi Putih dan Sambal Terasi [2012: Oktofani]
Coming from a tropical country such as Indonesia, I used to dream to go to the Western Country to have a white Christmas. Wearing a pair of knee boots, long black stylist winter coat and colorful scarf while doing some window shopping in down town Toronto, London or New York City.
Or the idea of having outdoor Christmas tree light, snow, candy cane, Christmas gift and any other Christmas decoration in every corner of the town from the street to family house or churches to the shops, it seems that white Christmas is very magical. But I had no idea how freezing cold the winter would be.
Tried to enjoy my first winter and white Christmas in Halifax, Nova Scotia [2011: ER]
So here I was… Christmas 2011, I went to Canada for nearly one month. Finally, I knew what the white Christmas is. Despite the fact the ambience is very magical and romantic, I must admit that winter sucks BIG TIME! It is so freaking cold! I must wear multi-layers of clothes. Geez! I am so blessed to be born and come from a place with a wonderful weather just like Indonesia.
Nevertheless its suckness (that sometimes I miss), I really like Canada. It is such a beautiful yet organized place. There are so many old historical beautiful buildings (I love old historical building). While I was in Canada, I did not go to many places. I only went to Ottawa, Halifax, Toronto and Montreal.
I am looking forward to another trip to Canada but in different time of the year. Preferably during the summer time.
Anyway, here I am sharing some snapshots from my trip to North America.
The Parliament Building of Canada in Ottawa, Ontario [2011: Oktofani]
The View of Dartmouth from Halifax, Nova Scotia [2011: Oktofani]
La basilique Notre-Dame de Montréal [2012: Oktofani]
Apple Caramel dip [2011: Oktofani]
One cloudy day in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia [2011: Oktofani]
Rideau Canal in Ottawa, Ontario [2011: Oktofani]
Eternal Flame for The Unknown Soldier [2011: Oktofani]
Down town Ottawa [2011: Oktofani]
Down town of Ottawa [2011: Oktofani]
The famous light house, Peggy’s Cove in Nova Scotia [2011: Oktofani]