Notes: Reminisce

Rewriting my first free writing post

Since I moved to Jakarta in 2010, I can’t remember when the last time I left Jakarta for more than two weeks. I usually would just go for a week or two holiday. But next week, I would be going to North America for sometimes to study.

To be honest, I am actually bit nervous about this new experience, yet I am looking forward for it. Why? I begin entering the stage of life where I fed up with Jakarta. Don’t get me wrong, I love the dynamic of the town, I love what I am doing here and sometimes I love the Jakartans. But I just need some change for a lil while to recharge myself.

Last Friday, on my way to work, I was stuck in the traffic jam in Kuningan intersection. I looked around what is going on. As I looked to the right side of the intersection toward Senayan area, i.e Gatot Subroto road, I noticed that there is a construction job along the road that has been going on in these last few months.

I said to myself  “Wow… the current government is really doing their job! The construction job is really going and something is really being done.”

As I stared for awhile, I realized that it was Friday and there it was…. Gatot Subroto road. The road where I usually passed every Friday nights in these past three years. Bitter and sweet, that is how I would describe my Friday nights. Yet, I had a hell lot of fun for that matter.

And guess what? There was no Friday that I would go home sober. Ha ha ha…. Oh well! I was young –well, I still am, I am not even 30 y.o- and I just wanted to have fun. I vividly remember that I always dressed up to the nine. I would just put my best dress, my best shoes and my best clutch. I always made sure that I would just bring enough money to have fun with a lot of tequila, a lot of cocktail or a lot of wine. I would just hit the dance floor until the club was closed.

But one thing that I learnt though, you must not trust anybody that you meet in the club. There is no need that you should trust them, don’t trust the clubber, the waitress or even the security guard. No! Do not trust them. Why would you trust them? I can tell you that there are just so many fake people in the club and they are hustling for their slice of pie.

I met one of them. It took me years to realize that he is not real, his life is so artificial, he has a lot of unrealistic expectation in life. Until a number straight up wake up calls hit me! I found out that he is married, I was terrorized by his mistress and he let her to insult me for one year. I, who was depressed, entered into a deeper depression as the result.

Sometimes …. as much as I wanted to believe that he might have a good side within him, I just didn’t see why I should believe that he might be good person … anymore. All I can see is just demons within himself and people around him. A lot of lies, a lot of unrealistic words coming from his mouth and I just could not deal with it. I realized that I should not be around source of depression.

Yet, I don’t blame him. I blamed myself. Why would I trust him at the first place? In my defense, I was naive. I was 22 y.o when I met him. I was so young. I was another young girl, who wanted to see the world and meet many people in the city of Jakarta. Sound corny ay? 🙂

And here I am counting down the days to go to Canada for awhile. I would be leaving by June 6.  I know that I am going to miss Jakarta so much anyhow. The dynamic of life and the people, I am going to miss them. I have learnt a lot in Jakarta. I learnt something that you would never find in any literature or dictionary.

As they said that Jakarta is a melting pot. You would meet any kind of people, the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. The rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. You would meet politician, business people, foreigner and activist. And I learnt a lot from them. Jakarta is a real training ground! Thank you Jakarta…. I’d be back!

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