“A lot of times women are intimidated by other women that are pretty or that are successful or that are struck minded and can do their own things; instead of congratulate them ” Remy Ma
Tag Archives: social being
Hence, I always try to separate my personal and professional life. Sometimes I just do not really want to be friends with my co-worker but I will be friendly with them. I build fence around me, I would not tell them about my very personal life. Unless I could sense whether (s)he is a real friend to me or not. I just hate office politic!
Why? Well, let me tell you why….
- People tend to get jealous easily with other’s people life or achievement because they feel that they are senior or have close relationship with the boss (you can list hundred reason why your co-worker would get jealous of you, be you are smarter than them, you are prettier than them, you achieve more than them, etc);
- People tend to be judgemental about the real you and sometimes they would use your private life to against you.
That is why I always build the bridge between me and my co-workers. For me, I don’t come to Jakarta to make a friend or enemy. I come to this city to work and earn living. If I have to build a network, I will keep it professionally. Again… I just hate office politic! Too much drama! Although some people enjoy it and go around talking about other people life because they just got nothing to do. But don’t you have enough drama in your life?
Anyway, even though I share my private life in my personal blog where thousands people could read and comment about it, it does not mean that they can approach me personally to tell me what I can and cannot do as if they really know about me. I am not anti-criticism but I just don’t like people tell me what to do in my private life when they have no idea about who I am.
Hence, I invite anybody to leave an online comment about my life. Feel free to say whatever you want to say about me. I will appreciate any kind of comment that you leave online, be it criticism, compliment or sympathy. I will read them, reflect on them or even laugh at them. Your comment is my entertainment. But DO NOT approach me personally to give me suggestion about what I should or I shouldn’t do about my life because you don’t know the real me.
PS: this writing got nothing to do with my current job. It is reflection from my carrier in these last four years since I moved to Jakarta in 2010.
Well, I have to admit that I do that also when I hang out with my friends because they do it as well. I am not trying to justify my action.
So few days ago I met Anita, my former colleague. We had an interesting conversation about social media detox. Well, we actually talked about digital detox but I would narrow it down to social media detox. What? Social media detox? What is it all about?
Well, let me start by saying that gadget and social media is very addictive for some people, including myself. I have been actively using social media, e.g Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Path , since 2005 when I knew Friendster.com.
As time passed by, there are more and more interesting social media in the internet from hi5, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and now Path. The worse is the development of technology, especially smartphone and tablet which provide us with web-ready mobile phones and various of social media application. It makes me just want to check out what the latest news, gossip or whats going on with my friends on the social media.
But the question is do I really need those updates? Why do I need those updates?
I come to realize that since I have been using smartphone and addicted to social media, I no longer have a meaningful conversation with my friends and people around me. Even though, we are still hanging out together for lunch or dinner but we are just busy with our smartphone and check out what’s on the social media. We don’t really care why we are here together.
Other than that, social media creates a jealousy and makes people being mean ass toward their own friend without really knowing the truth. It also leads us to an ugly competition because of jealousy toward our own friend, simply because what we see in social media and people love to show off or share their experience or lifestyle in social media.
For instance “Oh how come she can get a Christian Louboutin shoes? What does she do? She must be a whore or slut. She must be a prostitute.” or “O My God… doesn’t she know that she is ugly? She shouldn’t take that kind of selfie picture.” Or Oh… She travelled to Paris. It must be her boyfriend financed it. This and that….
There are just so many negative comments from my head about other people’s life, which I actually don’t really know what is going on exactly and not one of them is our business.
So after having conversation with Anita, I decided to do a social media detox. But what is a social media detox? According to my understanding, social media detox is a therapy to remove our addiction to social media by turning off all social media account. Hence during my unpaid leave for my medication, I deactivated my Facebook, Twitter, singed out from path and deleted Instagram account. What? Delete? Yes, you read it right! I DELETE it. (Surely I would miss the silly comment of Indonesia’s First Lady, Ibu Ani Yudhoyono, in Instagram who gets irritated easily with her follower comments)
Not just that, I also deleted those social media application from my Blackberry and iPhone as well as iPad. And. I start to go out with book to read; meet up with people to have a fruitful conversation about anything.
So now the question is what is the purpose of having smartphone then? I even have two. Well…. I still can use my smartphone for receiving email and sending email plus blogging. I love blogging, I have been blogging since 2005 even though it’s not really general issue but more into personal matter but I enjoyed it anyway.
Other than that, I also can read other blogger’s post, which can inspire me in so many different ways. Be it about life, fashion, business, traveling and also Hollywood gossip.
Beside that, I also have a new hobby now, which is watching YouTube channel. I have subscribed to some interesting channel such as CrashCourse, BrainCraft, It’s Okay to Be Smart and also spacerip. When I get bored with all those scientific channel, I usually will watch my favorite singer vevo channel from Rihanna, Eminem, T.I, Tupac to Snoop Dogg.
I just have so much fun enjoying those YouTube channel. It really helps me to exercise my brain, entertain myself in different kind of way and enlarge my knowledge.
Meanwhile two weeks ago, I met my former editor. We had a very interesting conversation about life. She gave a very wise advice to turn off my social media accounts. Instead, I should read more books, newspaper and magazine to exercise my brains. She lent me a couple of Indonesia literature books, written by Umar Kayam and Leila Chudori. It was very kind of her
She also said to me “Look around you. Try to connect face to face with people, as much as you can. Look them in the eye when you talk to them. Do as much good as you can, when you can.”
As I reflected to what she said to me, I think she is 100 percent correct. I look back into my life in these last couple of years, I just live my life in the gadget and social media, while I only hang around with small circle of people. But still we are being busy with our gadget, either reading email, chatting with instant messenger or fart around on social media while hang out with other people. We really have been disconnecting with real world and real life. We just live behind the screen.
The question is now being despite the fact technology/gadget has been helping our work efficiently, when will we get tired to use our gadget in our daily life and want to get back into out real life as social being? Will we be able to sit down together with other to have a meaningful conversation again without carrying our gadget and being busy with all those social media?
But wait…. the obstacles remain. Even though I enjoyed this whole social media detox for one week, as a media worker I actually really need to use social media, especially twitter to get myself aware of the current issue. It sucks when I don’t get myself updated with the latest current issue and it’s embarrassing.
I didn’t even know when Anas Urbaningrum was arrested by KPK or I didn’t even know that the Indonesian tycoon Bakrie Family invested their money on PATH. What? I usually get myself updated and know the latest information. So what should I do now? Should I activate my twitter and Facebook again? (Well I just did anyway because of work purpose. )
In the end of the day, it actually comes down to how we use social media. Doesn’t it? It has been a week since I did social media detox. So should I get back to use so social media again but change how the way I use it? Or should I stay doing the social media detox? What do you think?
Perhaps next I will do digital detox? We’ll see