i am gonna repeat what i wrote… i was typesse. i mean tipsy… i had so much do i mean i had so much too drink. i vividly remember that i always dressed to the nine! I put my best dress, my best shoes and my best cloth…. best clutch. it has been sometimes or a while since the last time i hit the dance floor. sometimes i missed it, sometimes i didnt. it was just fun night. i had plenty of fun friday night./ untuol … i mean until i realised that he was not real, he is not a true friend, he just wanna make money out of money. i did not know what i am saying was right or wrong but it was… i mean that is what i feel. heart broken.! it was a straight up wake up call that i should not trust anybody that i must trust nobody. too many artificial friendship and relationship here, so many fake people here.
Yet… sometimes i still believe that he might alo also be agood person on the side. but i dont know. i cannot tell and i will not judge. anyhow…… I trustu nobody and ohhhh… i i i i dont know what i am going to write now. i just dont kno… i dont want to write about the bitter memory. i dont want to write about bad experience. i wonder why i keep wanting to write this. is it because i havent been able to move on? is it because i have not been able to forgive him? is it because it was a really really strong straight up wake up call? perhaps! it is better to feel the pain now than waiting for another years.
I am g… i mean i know i am going to continue climbing, i will be a good …. i will do good for my future. and i must say that i am happy to leave my past behind.
I have been focusing on my work and my health this day, i have been focus on myself lately. i am happy. i dont think about other poeple but myself. everyday… i am trying hard very hard to over.. to overcome my depression by myself. i try to keep running, running further away, running harder… runnning and runnning…. just to overcome my depression. Yes, i often heard people talking or asking me whether i am an athlete or not, or the other day i over heard some television crew said that i have an athletic figure, i am very flattered actually. anyhow……….
what am i gouing to write next? I dont know… yet… i am looking forward for my trip to canada next week. it is going to be my longest journey since i moved to jakarta. since i moved to jakarta, i only left Jakarta for three weeks to Canada in 2011-2012. Since then. it was always a short holiday less than one week. I did not even thjink to go home before i leave to Canada.
Jakarta … it has been a wonderful place. it is a real place to learn about life… you c…. for me… jakarta is a melting pot. you will see all kind of people… the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. the rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. politician, business people, student, foreigner, local people… so many…. you can find all kind of people in Jakarta. I learnt alot here…….
shit and i still have 6 minute…. what am i gonna write next? I dont know yet. i cannot look at my writing to review it before i have it published. it must be very messy. I just got home anyway and i need to shower and just sleep. i am going to do my morning run tomorrow. I have to leave very early because i also had a conferece … conference and seminar to attend by 8 a.m. i am so looking forward for tomorrow…
ooooooo what am i gonna do next? I think i have been eating alot today….. I am so full. lol! ……
i have been reading what you wrote. you talked… you talked about the education of your sons. welll at least, he would do something real than being a … nah! I am not gonna say it here. let me just keep it inside my head.
… i dont know… oh i have been crazy in love with kendrick lamar music since he dropped pimp the butterfly album. it is so s… it is so dope… super duper dope! I love the lyrics of most of his songs at that album. Unlike most of hip hop musician, who keep talking about money. Kendrick talks about life, reflection of life. It is close to something real. …. what next? I hate 50 cent. he sangs about crap! material and money and unrealistic life for mo… for many. so….. you… unreal!…. okay few more second…. what else should i write? I dont know…… i am sleepy and i need to shower……… i want to drink my strawberry milk now. what? is it finished yet?
jakarta… ta … jakarta thank you! Thank you for everything!