Tag Archives: Life

Notes: Social Media’s Perfect Life

Almost everybody has social media accounts these days, be it Facebook, Instagram, Path or Twitter. Social media helps us to be in touch with our long lost friends, family members, schoolmates, coworkers as well as connects us with new people. They also give us a space to have a discussion about certain issues that matter to us. At the same time, social media also gives us the opportunity to see other people’s life. But one thing about social media is that it often makes an individual feel like bad about themselves.

Since the presence of social media, many people often compare themselves or their life circumstances to other people whenever they scroll down the screen. Sometimes social media users forget that everyone has their own unique journey. I somehow feel that it is actually not healthy to be able to see other people lives through social media. Why? It’s because we start to unfairly compare ourselves to them.

Remember that everyone has their own life struggle and it just comes in different forms for each person. Not just that, some people actually find their life difficult. Unfortunately we just do not really see the difficulty that people have. Social media users often try to post their perfect life, try to show off their life’s achievements. But who really knows the story behind all those posts?

Other than that, social media can also stop us ftom having a real interaction with our friends because it creates a lazy form of friendship, without real life human interaction. Even if they do hang out together, they would just be busy with their smartphone and post stuff in social media.

That is why I deleted my Path account, I deactivated my Facebook account few weeks ago temporarily. I just find it not useful. Yet, I keep my twitter account active to keep up with the latest news and I might activate my Facebook again sometime. Arrgg technology…

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Notes: My Better Half

Suddenly I remember that day, one day in Aug 2009. The day when we found out that I am sick. It was just one year after we met for the very first time. I gave you choice. You chose to stay with me. You chose to stand by me.

I vividly remember that early morning. It was 4 a.m. We walked down by the small road of Nyuh Gading. It was pitch dark, it was very quiet. And there we were, you and me. As we walked side by side, I suddenly hear you crying. You broke into tears and held me tight. You promised to stand by me no matter what.

And it was six years ago. So many tears, sadness, fight, arguments and misunderstanding between you and me. Yet, there were so many laughter, happiness and so many smiles that we have been sharing together. There were some stage of our journey where we thought it’s going to be over. Yet, we chose to take time to fix it, to improve it. Now, everyday we learn to be a better person for each other.

I just feel so grateful and blessed to have a man like you in my life. I wouldn’t ask for a better man to be my better half. You are just the best that I have ever had.

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Notes: Reminisce

Rewriting my first free writing post

Since I moved to Jakarta in 2010, I can’t remember when the last time I left Jakarta for more than two weeks. I usually would just go for a week or two holiday. But next week, I would be going to North America for sometimes to study.

To be honest, I am actually bit nervous about this new experience, yet I am looking forward for it. Why? I begin entering the stage of life where I fed up with Jakarta. Don’t get me wrong, I love the dynamic of the town, I love what I am doing here and sometimes I love the Jakartans. But I just need some change for a lil while to recharge myself.

Last Friday, on my way to work, I was stuck in the traffic jam in Kuningan intersection. I looked around what is going on. As I looked to the right side of the intersection toward Senayan area, i.e Gatot Subroto road, I noticed that there is a construction job along the road that has been going on in these last few months.

I said to myself  “Wow… the current government is really doing their job! The construction job is really going and something is really being done.”

As I stared for awhile, I realized that it was Friday and there it was…. Gatot Subroto road. The road where I usually passed every Friday nights in these past three years. Bitter and sweet, that is how I would describe my Friday nights. Yet, I had a hell lot of fun for that matter.

And guess what? There was no Friday that I would go home sober. Ha ha ha…. Oh well! I was young –well, I still am, I am not even 30 y.o- and I just wanted to have fun. I vividly remember that I always dressed up to the nine. I would just put my best dress, my best shoes and my best clutch. I always made sure that I would just bring enough money to have fun with a lot of tequila, a lot of cocktail or a lot of wine. I would just hit the dance floor until the club was closed.

But one thing that I learnt though, you must not trust anybody that you meet in the club. There is no need that you should trust them, don’t trust the clubber, the waitress or even the security guard. No! Do not trust them. Why would you trust them? I can tell you that there are just so many fake people in the club and they are hustling for their slice of pie.

I met one of them. It took me years to realize that he is not real, his life is so artificial, he has a lot of unrealistic expectation in life. Until a number straight up wake up calls hit me! I found out that he is married, I was terrorized by his mistress and he let her to insult me for one year. I, who was depressed, entered into a deeper depression as the result.

Sometimes …. as much as I wanted to believe that he might have a good side within him, I just didn’t see why I should believe that he might be good person … anymore. All I can see is just demons within himself and people around him. A lot of lies, a lot of unrealistic words coming from his mouth and I just could not deal with it. I realized that I should not be around source of depression.

Yet, I don’t blame him. I blamed myself. Why would I trust him at the first place? In my defense, I was naive. I was 22 y.o when I met him. I was so young. I was another young girl, who wanted to see the world and meet many people in the city of Jakarta. Sound corny ay? :-)

And here I am counting down the days to go to Canada for awhile. I would be leaving by June 6.  I know that I am going to miss Jakarta so much anyhow. The dynamic of life and the people, I am going to miss them. I have learnt a lot in Jakarta. I learnt something that you would never find in any literature or dictionary.

As they said that Jakarta is a melting pot. You would meet any kind of people, the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. The rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. You would meet politician, business people, foreigner and activist. And I learnt a lot from them. Jakarta is a real training ground! Thank you Jakarta…. I’d be back!

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Music: Beautiful

 

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Notes: Disappointment

Betrayal and hurt makes me very disappointed in people. When I give everything that I feel that I have to give, I am being very honest and I am working my ass off to make things work, and they just betray me.
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Notes: Free Writing #1

and it is started! Free writing game. It is only two weeks before I am leaving Jakart to Canada. This morning, on my way to work, I passed the kuningan intersection. I looked at to the right and I saw Jalan Gatot Subroto. I said to myself… God… it is Friday. I only two more Friday night in this town. IN these last three years, i have been having various  and fun friday night. I passed this road, I passed Sudirman road, I passed Gatot Subroto road, I passed block M road, I passed Seenen road…. and sometimes I am unconcious. Not really… it was wrong word… since i cannot delet my previous type or edit it….

i am gonna repeat what i wrote… i was typesse. i mean tipsy… i had so much do i mean i had so much too drink. i vividly remember that i always dressed to the nine! I put my best dress, my best shoes and my best cloth…. best clutch. it has been sometimes or a while since the last time i hit the dance floor. sometimes i missed it, sometimes i didnt. it was just fun night. i had plenty of fun friday night./ untuol … i mean until i realised that he was not real, he is not a true friend, he just wanna make money out of money. i did not know what i am saying was right or wrong but it was… i mean that is what i feel. heart broken.! it was a straight up wake up call that i should not trust anybody that i must trust nobody. too many artificial friendship and relationship here, so many fake people here.

Yet… sometimes i still believe that he might alo also be agood person on the side. but i dont know. i cannot tell and i will not judge. anyhow…… I trustu nobody and ohhhh… i i i i dont know what i am going to write now. i just dont kno… i dont want to write about the bitter memory. i dont want to write about bad experience. i wonder why i keep wanting to write this. is it because i havent been able to move on? is it because i have not been able to forgive him? is it because it was a really really strong straight up wake up call? perhaps! it is better to feel the pain now than waiting for another years.

I am g… i mean i know i am going to continue climbing, i will be a good …. i will do good for my future. and i must say that i am happy to leave my past behind.

I have been focusing on my work and my health this day, i have been focus on myself lately. i am happy. i dont think about other poeple but myself. everyday… i am trying hard very hard to over.. to overcome my depression by myself. i try to keep running, running further away, running harder… runnning and runnning…. just to overcome my depression. Yes, i often heard people talking or asking me whether i am an athlete or not, or the other day i over heard some television crew said that i have an athletic figure, i am very flattered actually. anyhow……….

what am i gouing to write next? I dont know… yet… i am looking forward for my trip to canada next week. it is going to be my longest journey since i moved to jakarta. since i moved to jakarta, i only left Jakarta for three weeks to Canada in 2011-2012. Since then. it was always a short holiday less than one week. I did not even thjink to go home before i leave to Canada.

Jakarta … it has been a wonderful place. it is a real place to learn about life… you c…. for me… jakarta is a melting pot. you will see all kind of people… the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. the rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. politician, business people, student, foreigner, local people… so many…. you can find all kind of people in Jakarta. I learnt alot here…….

shit and i still have 6 minute…. what am i gonna write next? I dont know yet. i cannot look at my writing to review it before i have it published. it must be very messy. I just got home anyway and i need to shower and just sleep. i am going to do my morning run tomorrow. I have to leave very early because i also had a conferece … conference and seminar to attend by 8 a.m. i am so looking forward for tomorrow…

ooooooo what am i gonna do next? I think i have been eating alot today….. I am so full. lol! ……

i have been reading what you wrote. you talked… you talked about the education of your sons. welll at least, he would do something real than being a … nah! I am not gonna say it here. let me just keep it inside my head.

… i dont know… oh i have been crazy in love with kendrick lamar music since he dropped pimp the butterfly album. it is so s… it is so dope… super duper dope! I love the lyrics of most of his songs at that album. Unlike most of hip hop musician, who keep talking about money. Kendrick talks about life, reflection of life. It is close to something real. …. what next?!…. okay few more second…. what else should i write? I dont know…… i am sleepy and i need to shower……… i want to drink my strawberry milk now. what? is it finished yet?

jakarta… ta  … jakarta thank you! Thank you for everything!

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Photo: Good Morning Jakarta

Conversation [2015: E O]

Conversation [2015: E O]

Pangeran Diponegoro Statue [2015: E O]

Pangeran Diponegoro Statue [2015: E O]

Journey [2015:E O]

Journey [2015:E O]

Undercover? [2015: EO]

Undercover? [2015: EO]

Toiling [2015: E O]

Toiling [2015: E O]

Pagi Ini [2015:E O]

Pagi Ini [2015:E O]

Good morning Jakarta [2015: E O]

Good morning Jakarta [2015: E O]

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