Tag Archives: Life

Notes: Free Writing #1

Jakarta... thank you! [2015: E O]

Jakarta… thank you! [2015: E O]

and it is started! Free writing game. It is only two weeks before I am leaving Jakart to Canada. This morning, on my way to work, I passed the kuningan intersection. I looked at to the right and I saw Jalan Gatot Subroto. I said to myself… God… it is Friday. I only two more Friday night in this town. IN these last three years, i have been having various  and fun friday night. I passed this road, I passed Sudirman road, I passed Gatot Subroto road, I passed block M road, I passed Seenen road…. and sometimes I am unconcious. Not really… it was wrong word… since i cannot delet my previous type or edit it….

i am gonna repeat what i wrote… i was typesse. i mean tipsy… i had so much do i mean i had so much too drink. i vividly remember that i always dressed to the nine! I put my best dress, my best shoes and my best cloth…. best clutch. it has been sometimes or a while since the last time i hit the dance floor. sometimes i missed it, sometimes i didnt. it was just fun night. i had plenty of fun friday night./ untuol … i mean until i realised that he was not real, he is not a true friend, he just wanna make money out of money. i did not know what i am saying was right or wrong but it was… i mean that is what i feel. heart broken.! it was a straight up wake up call that i should not trust anybody that i must trust nobody. too many artificial friendship and relationship here, so many fake people here.

Yet… sometimes i still believe that he might alo also be agood person on the side. but i dont know. i cannot tell and i will not judge. anyhow…… I trustu nobody and ohhhh… i i i i dont know what i am going to write now. i just dont kno… i dont want to write about the bitter memory. i dont want to write about bad experience. i wonder why i keep wanting to write this. is it because i havent been able to move on? is it because i have not been able to forgive him? is it because it was a really really strong straight up wake up call? perhaps! it is better to feel the pain now than waiting for another years.

I am g… i mean i know i am going to continue climbing, i will be a good …. i will do good for my future. and i must say that i am happy to leave my past behind.

I have been focusing on my work and my health this day, i have been focus on myself lately. i am happy. i dont think about other poeple but myself. everyday… i am trying hard very hard to over.. to overcome my depression by myself. i try to keep running, running further away, running harder… runnning and runnning…. just to overcome my depression. Yes, i often heard people talking or asking me whether i am an athlete or not, or the other day i over heard some television crew said that i have an athletic figure, i am very flattered actually. anyhow……….

what am i gouing to write next? I dont know… yet… i am looking forward for my trip to canada next week. it is going to be my longest journey since i moved to jakarta. since i moved to jakarta, i only left Jakarta for three weeks to Canada in 2011-2012. Since then. it was always a short holiday less than one week. I did not even thjink to go home before i leave to Canada.

Jakarta … it has been a wonderful place. it is a real place to learn about life… you c…. for me… jakarta is a melting pot. you will see all kind of people… the good, the bad, the angel and the evil. the rich, the poor, the real and the fake people. politician, business people, student, foreigner, local people… so many…. you can find all kind of people in Jakarta. I learnt alot here…….

shit and i still have 6 minute…. what am i gonna write next? I dont know yet. i cannot look at my writing to review it before i have it published. it must be very messy. I just got home anyway and i need to shower and just sleep. i am going to do my morning run tomorrow. I have to leave very early because i also had a conferece … conference and seminar to attend by 8 a.m. i am so looking forward for tomorrow…

ooooooo what am i gonna do next? I think i have been eating alot today….. I am so full. lol! ……

i have been reading what you wrote. you talked… you talked about the education of your sons. welll at least, he would do something real than being a … nah! I am not gonna say it here. let me just keep it inside my head.

… i dont know… oh i have been crazy in love with kendrick lamar music since he dropped pimp the butterfly album. it is so s… it is so dope… super duper dope! I love the lyrics of most of his songs at that album. Unlike most of hip hop musician, who keep talking about money. Kendrick talks about life, reflection of life. It is close to something real. …. what next? I hate 50 cent. he sangs about crap! material and money and unrealistic life for mo… for many. so….. you… unreal!…. okay few more second…. what else should i write? I dont know…… i am sleepy and i need to shower……… i want to drink my strawberry milk now. what? is it finished yet?

jakarta… ta  … jakarta thank you! Thank you for everything!

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Photo: Good Morning Jakarta

Conversation [2015: E O]

Conversation [2015: E O]

Pangeran Diponegoro Statue [2015: E O]

Pangeran Diponegoro Statue [2015: E O]

Journey [2015:E O]

Journey [2015:E O]

Undercover? [2015: EO]

Undercover? [2015: EO]

Toiling [2015: E O]

Toiling [2015: E O]

Pagi Ini [2015:E O]

Pagi Ini [2015:E O]

Good morning Jakarta [2015: E O]

Good morning Jakarta [2015: E O]

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Notes: Monetize Your Genitalia? Part II

Our society glorify relationship and romance so much. So as soon as we heard about the law enforcement officer or the government made an effort to curb prostitution and it received a lot of media exposures, many people start talking about the morality behind the prostitution business scene, be it the sex worker, the customer and the pimp.

I must say that I respect those, who sell their body to provide sex service openly -regardless to fulfill their basic need or lifestyle-. It is because they are being HONEST, being REAL.

Does it mean that I support prostitution? In a way. Or let me say that I support the legalization of prostitution. But I do not encourage anyone to do so if they know they can do something else to make money. And again, I am not talking about those who are being sold by human trafficking syndicate or forced to work as sex worker by their own family or relatives, it is just two different thing. I am talking about those, who chose to do it with their own will for whatever reason they do have.

So while you are sexualy active but you cannot have sex with your real lover (if you have one) because of certain reason and you cannot find any phuck buddy to fulfill your sexual need without involving feeling and respecting each other, I think it is way better than to be with a sex worker to fulfill your sexual need. It is way better than to be with the-so-called-lover, who just want your money, play mind game and play with your heart.

Why? Because the-so-called lover usually would immidiately leave you and break your heart as soon as u have no penny left. Would you let yourself enter into an artificial relationship with a lot of drama and make you unhappy, while what you two need are money and sex? Again, there are supply and demand! PS: In case you don’t know that there are FEMALE and MALE sex workers out there, so don’t blame it on the womenfolk or being judgmental toward the womenfolk only.

Since the murder of Deudeuh Avisah Rini, who reportedly is a sex worker and offered her service online, as well as the arrest of RA, a pimp who reportedly has a network of 200 hi-class sex worker, prostitution has once again become a topic of discussion among the Indonesian netizens.

List of phone number of Indonesian celebrities, who allegedly involved in prostitution business and offered an incredibly high rate up to 200 million IDR (18,000 USD), has been going viral through the net. Many people made a fun out of it while sharing it in the social media.

According to the comments on list of Indonesian celebrities, who allegedly provide sex service, many Indonesian netizens suddenly turn to be saint and feel way better than them, who work as a sex worker and become the customer of prostitution business. Call me that I am too serious or whatever responding on this issue. I just feel that there is just something odd and ironic about it. I do not really see people talking about the health problem and the awareness of reproductive health awareness. All the discussions were about morality, money, sex and politics.

But ay… what about if the prostitution issue is actually being used to drive public opinion to cover up some dirty business among the Indonesian politicians, who want to attack each other? And we are dragged into their drama. Just like last year during 2014 Indonesian Presidential Election, the Indonesian netizens were invited to make a fun of presidential candidates.

As you might have been aware that the National Police Controversial Figure Budi Waseso, who is also the national police detective chief, made a statement that the National Police Criminal Investigation Directorate would involve in handling the the celebrity prostitution case.

At the same time, many of you might also be aware that POLRI has been ‘actively’ curbing corruption cases in the country after Budi Gunawan failed to be the National Police Chief and a number of KPK-POLRI saga. Somehow there is an indication that the customer of hi-class prostitution business, who is likely to be politician, is being targeted by the law enforcement officer for certain political purpose. Who is that? Who knows! Is it true? Time would tell.

But would we let ourselves entering into their drama and being judgmental toward sex worker and the customers, who might be happy with what they are doing? I really get bored reading all the news on hi-class and online prostitution and read the judgmental discussion about the same issue again every day in the internet. Please…. give me a break!

It is just my opinion, you can agree or disagree. Cheers

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Notes: God and Religion

There is nothing new under the sun, so I write same issue again. 

The concept of belief and religion has always been fascinating for me. The dynamic of our daily life lead me to wonder why religion have divided and categorized us as human being and place us into different place.

When I was kid, I often wondered why neighbor chose to be Islam and my family chose to be Catholic? Why is a friend of mine Hindu? Is it true that certain religion better than other? Is it true if one convert from one religion to other religion, would commit sin?

And when I was teenager, I asked myself what is religion? Who created religion at the first place? Do we have to have a religion? What about being atheist? Will we go to hell if we don’t believe in God? Does heaven and hell even exist?

I had no where to go find those answer back that time. I did not know what kind of book that I should read to find the answer. There was no way that I could find the answer at school nor in the family. It is because I am living in the society where everyone has been tied to certain religion since the second we were born.

But as I entered university, I started to understand that religion is just a product of social construction. Nothing less, nothing more. And I do agree with that. However I always do believe that our existence happen because of God. I refused to understand all the scientific argument about our existence because it is just too complicated to understand.

And yes, I do believe with the existence of God. God is the easiest answer of our life existence. Having said that one can always believe in God without being tied to certain religion. Yet, my faith in God is not strong. It comes and goes.

For me, religion is a set of concept about the way we live our lives and the things that we consider important. It is a guidance for us to live our life accordingly. It talks about kindness. It talks about love. It talks about injustice. It also talks about wickedness. Religion is a set of reminder of how we should do good while we live our lives. That’s all.

In these last four years, I have been learning about Christianity. Why? It is because I want to search and find the balance between mind, body and soul.

Yet,  having myself learning about Christianity, I still do not consider myself as a Christian or Catholic or even a religious person. I still have no interest to engage to church activity. But I go to Sunday service , I carry prayer pocket book and I have a great interest in reading the bible to understand about Christianity and religion. And ay… I even had a huge tattoo cross on my back.

As I completed reading the old testament and new testament,  I learnt that bible content a set of beautiful teaching on how we should treat each other as human beings, an excellent reminder on how we should live our life as part of community.  Bible is a book of wisdom and love.

Few days ago, someone asked me why does one have to go to church to know about the concept of being good to other? So I answered “It is because we, human being, are arrogant to always feel knowing everything; while sometimes we forget and go astray. It is always good to have a reminder.

But some event of life showed me another side of the coin. It showed that many people tie themselves into religion because they actually feel insecure about the reality of life. They seek for comfort within the bible and look for bible verse, which comfort him or her.

I do the same. I seek for comfort words when I am facing difficulty, which I could not find it from other people. I usually seek from either book -including bible- or music.

Yet, they quote a bible verse bit by bit without having a full of understanding of it. Later, they use it to judge other and justify their own action. Why? Because they believe that God would always forgive and save us.

You see …. one might read  bible on the daily basis. One might know how to preach about it also. One might engage in a number of church activity. Even, there is no Sunday service that one is going to miss as much as possible. 

Yet, what’s the point of being very religious and have a strong faith in God but have no idea to implement those religious teaching? It is just talk the talk? But at the end, implementing religious value is our own choice, we would reap what we sow. 

As I learnt, I always feel good when I do good; I always feel restless when I do bad to others. It has nothing to do with religion.

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Notes: Monetize Your Genitalia?

These days, I read news on the phenomenon of online prostitution and prostitution in general in Indonesia. Some women monetize their pu$$y-vagina and some men monetize their dick-penis. So I asked myself, why do people monetize their genitals?

Well, first of all there is nothing cheap or even free. At the same time, everyone get bills to pay. Sadly enough, both proper job and real love do not pay their bill.

I ain’t gonna judge their hustle or the way they make money, there are providers and demands within the business scene. Just play your card right and do not go around fire expecting not to sweat. That is all I can say. signature

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Notes: Marriage

Many young people want to get marriage to their lover. They feel that their lover is the love of their life. It would be perfect to live together for the rest of their life. But I wonder whether they really understand what marriage is?

Well… I guess we have been indoctrinated with happily ever after Cinderella story without being shown what happen next after she got married to the prince. Who knows that they try killing each other…. ?! No?

That is why I don’t like attend wedding party. 

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Notes: Give A Hand

Sometimes we want to help someone, who is going astray because we know that (s)he is actually good person inside. But  I realize that we cannot help somebody who actually doesn’t want to help themselves . Or they even don’t think that they might need a help from anyone. Should we bother to give a hand?

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