Tag Archives: Jakarta

Notes: Revenge Is Not The Answer

Simply because you were chicken out [2014: E O]

Simply because you were chicken out [2014: E O]

It has been three weeks since my relationship with my dawg has been falling apart. My dawg always said to me if I kept receiving SMSes terror, it is away better that we do not stay as friends anymore because he felt that he became the center of the issue. A number of SMSes mentioned his name and what his business are. My dawg was worried. I was worried. We were worried.

Our relationship has been falling apart few weeks ago. I thought I would never received the SMS, which is intended to harassed me anymore. Yet, I still received an SMS on Friday night (Dec. 12) mocking me, praying evil for me.

Interestingly enough, the person said to me “You think that I am going to stop bothering you?! Hallo… your life will be falling apart and we do not need to wait for years because you would die soon,

I smiled while I read the SMS. It is not the first time this person wish me death. Geez…. I wonder why this person hate me so much? I felt that I have never done anything wrong to her. So why she hates me so much? I asked myself. Is it because of my dawg?

But as always I have no obligation to respond her message. There is no point to deal with ungrateful spirit, which is so hateful. My curious mind tried to connecting the dot between all the SMSes and tweets from one one of twitter account of a woman, who like to playing billiard in Kelapa Gading of North Jakarta area.

I met her once and I strongly believed that it was from her. And I strongly believed that she might have a relationship with my dawg that is why she kept harassing me. But why me? Why am I the one to be attacked? Well… who knows? There must be a monkey business behind it.

To be honest, I am not afraid of these SMSes but it is just bothering. It is very foolish and childish. Why don’t you just come to me and tell me what is the problem? Why should you send a blackmail? That’s what bothering.

Every night, I get down on my knee and pray to God to understand the circumstance by reading the bible. I do what the Proverbs 26: 4  said “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” It is a very sensible advice.

Lord hear us, Mother Mary pray for us [2013: E O]

Lord hear us, Mother Mary pray for us [2013: E O]

Yet whenever I opened the bible I am always being lead to the book of Psalms to a Prayer of Protection, a Prayer of Helps and also God’s Complete Knowledge and Care. Nearly everyday, I was lead to similar reading. Until few days ago, I was lead to the book of Esther. I have never read any chapter of it. I came into a reading title “Haman Is Put To Death” (Esther 6: 14, Esther 7: 1-10).

It got me interested. What is it all about? So I started to read the book of Esther on “Haman Is Put To Death” But who is Haman? I read the book of Esther from the beginning to understand the character on the book of Esther.

Esther is a female Jewish hero, who bravely defeat her enemy who wants to destroy Israel. Meanwhile Haman is the prime minister of Susa, the capital city of Persia. Haman was appointed by King Xerxes. Yet, he is an evil man. He plot evil against Esther to sell her and her people for slaughter.

Not just that, Haman also went further to build a seventy five feet tall of gallows at his house to hang Mordecai, Esther’s cousin who has adopted her to be his own daughter when her parents die and who has saved king Xerxes’s life. King Xerxes, who heard about it, was angry and ordered his people to hang Haman on his own trap’s that he has prepared.

The moral of the story of “Haman Is Put To Death” is that we do not need to take any revenge against our enemy and dirt our hand because God would take care of it in His own time, in His own way.

As soon as I finished reading the book of Esther, I opened the book of Psalms 141 and read it in tears loudly as if I was angry to God.  “I keep trusting in you my Sovereign Lord. I seek your protection and don’t let me die. Protect me from the traps they have set for me, from snares of those evildoers. May the wicked fall into their own traps while I go unharmed.

My heart was pounding. I know it would come true. I always believe on the power of prayer. Many times my prayer has been answered. Humbly I pray for God’s protection. The book of Esther has taught me a lot if I place my trust in God, I would be protected. The wicked one would traps in their own traps sooner or later. Again, I don’t need to do any revenge. It would be pointless and I gain nothing. I leave it to God to take care of it. I know my hand is clean from this issue.

Everyday I just keep praying to Jesus Christ and Mother Mary, may God would touch her heart, mind and spirit to stop planning evil against me. If it is according to God’s Holy will, God would lead her to come and apologize to me one day for God has showed her a reminder. I just pray if it is because of all the dirty money business, I pray to God to let them making money without hurting other people as it is not fair to the innocent one. In the Jesus’s name I pray, Amen. 

I may not be a devoted Catholic or Christian but I believe in the power of prayer.

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Notes: Why Am I Blogging?

Perhaps some of you wonder why I like to share my personal problem in social media, i.e blog. Well, I am type of person who like to do thing for a cause. I always have a reason why I do thing things whether why I shave my hair off, why I go to gym or even why I blog about my personal life.

So why do I blog about my personal life? Once I read a blog post saying that writing a journal would help our personal growth and development because it would give us an insight about our behavior and moods. I kinda agree with that statement especially I have been writing personal diary since I was little girl and have been blogging since I was 16. I found that writing a journal would help me to reflect about my life especially everything what I have been going through. On the top of that, I also can review the improvement of my writing skill and my vocabulary bank.

But I must say that I am not kind of person who like to share my problem with my friend.  It is not because I don’t trust them to keep my secret but I tend to not believe or trust their judgement. Not saying that they are wrong, it is just ….. their judgement tend to lead me to further confusion.

And the most annoying part  of it is people would start being judgmental and telling you how wrong or even how stupid you are without understanding the circumstance. They would even start telling you that “you should not have done this and that… and bla bla bla

Oh well…. I guess it is our problem, we tend to listen to respond than listen to understand why thing is going wrong with somebody’s else life. Am I right?

And those are the last thing that I want to hear from other especially when I know very well that  they are not in my shoes.  Yet, sometimes …. I still have a discussion with my friends also about my problem  but not to seek for advice.

So what should I do if I need some advice? As I love reading book and listening to the music, I always would seek for some advice from inspirational book or inspirational songs. It helps me to reflect about my problem. Other than that, they would never judge me but  tend to give me a wiser suggestion. That’s the best thing of it! Try it!

So that’s why I rather to share my burden by blogging than talking to friends because I want to protect my feeling, to protect my heart and to prevent me from bad influences from other. But as humanly as possible,  I am trying my best to be post harmful or sensitive blog anyhow. So bear with me readers….

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy my blog!

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BJ: Ignorance to The Warning

Jobs answered the Lord “I know Lord that You are all-powerful that you can do everything you want. You ask how I dare question your wisdom when I am so very ignorant. I talked about things that I did not understand, about marvels too great for me to know.

You told me while you spoke and try to answer your questions. In the past, I only knew what others had told me but now I have seen with you with my own eyes. So I am ashamed of all I have said and repent in dust and ashes (Jobs 42: 1-6)

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Photo: The Vibe of Pasar Santa

Vynil record player at the Laidback Blues Store [2014: E O]

Vynil record player at the Laidback Blues Store [2014: E O]

Claypot Popo [2014: E O]

Claypot Popo [2014: E O]

Ketan Pasar is a sticky rice based snack joint [2014: E O]

Ketan Pasar is a sticky rice based snack joint [2014: E O]

The famous Pasar Santa black dog of DOG [2014: E O]

The famous Pasar Santa black dog of DOG [2014: E O]

Paint in one of corner of Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

Paint in one of corner of Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

The actual Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

The actual Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

Spinning in Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

Spinning in Pasar Santa [2014: E O]

The head of Pasar Santa, Bambang Sugiharto [2014: E O]

The head of Pasar Santa, Bambang Sugiharto [2014: E O]

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BJ: Warning Against Adultery

My child, pay attention and listen to my wisdom and insight. Then you will know how to behave properly and your words will show that you have knowledge.

The lips of another man’s wife may as sweet as honey and her kisses as smooth as olive oil, but when it is all over, she leaves you nothing but bitterness and pain. She will take you down to the world of the dead; road she walks is the road to death. She does not stay on the road of life, but wanders off and does not realize what is happening.

Now listen to me sons and never forget what I am saying! Keep away from such a woman. Don’t even go near her door! If you do, other will gain the respect that you had once had and you will die young at the hands of merciless people. Yes, strangers will take your wealth and what you have worked for will belong to someone else.

You will lie groaning on your death bed, your flesh and muscles being eaten away and you will say “Why would I never learn? Why would I never let anyone correct me? I would not listen to my teachers. I paid no attention to them. And suddenly I found myself publicly disgrace.

Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone. Children that you have by other woman will do you no good. Your children should grow up to help you, not strangers. So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married. Pretty and graceful as a deer. Let her charms keep you happy; let her surround you with her love.

Son, why should you prefer the charms of another man’s wife? The Lord sees everything you do, wherever you go, he is watching. The sins of the wicked are a trap. They get caught in the net of their own sin. They die because they have no self control. Their utter stupidity will send them to their grave. -Proverbs 5: 1-23

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Coretan: Sebuah Percakapan

Teaser

Kids are patiently waiting at home for their daddy [2014: E O]

Kids are patiently waiting at home for their daddy [2014: E O]

Suatu hari di bulan Juni 2013, Jordan memposting foto dirinya seusai melakukan olah raga di halaman Facebooknya. Dalam komentar foto tersebut, Stephanie mengingatkan pada Jordan bahwa dia harus ingat bahwa dia punya istri dan anak di Nigeria.

My sweet handsome husband, you look hot! Remember that you have a wife and children o. I am proud of you,

My honey, I am looking well for you and the boys as I am a committed man in you.” saur Jordan.

God will do everything he promised and it is gonna be great.” kata Stephanie.

Amen honey.” jawab Jordan singkat.

Apakah dugaan saya benar bahwa saya merupakan korban romance scam dari Jordan? Semuanya nampak baik-baik saja antara Jordan dan Stephanie. Jordan pun menyatakan komitmennya pada istrinya. Lalu apalagi yang perlu saya pertanyakan. Saya pun menarik nafas dalam-dalam menyadari betapa bodohnya saya selama ini.

Sooner or later, the truth would be revealed. It is just a matter of time before it happens. And now the time is coming now. Jordan, Jordan…. saya memang telah terjebak dalam permainan kamu. Namun saya masih penasaran apakah kamu terjebak dalam permainan kamu sendiri sehingga kamu jatuh cinta pada saya? Atau, sesungguhnya kamu enggak pernah jatuh cinta pada saya? Entahlah! Saya enggak pernah bisa mempercayai kata-katamu Jordan.

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Coretan: Doa Seorang Istri

Teaser

Suatu hari di bulan April 2011, Stephanie mengirim pesan pada Jordan bertanya akan keadaannya di Indonesia. “Today is your son birthday. A boring one for that matter. I hope your journey goes smoothly,” sebuah pesan dari sang istri yang mengkhawatirkan dan merindukan suaminya yang sedang berkelana mencari uang di negeri orang.

The journey has been the most difficult experience in my life. I am stranded at the airport for more than 24 hours because the person, who suppose to clear my overstay failed to come. I just managed to arrive in Dili yesterday and start to apply for visa at the Indonesian embassy today. It is a hell lot of stress. It would take three days to process. Regarding our son birthday, he has been celebrating the birthday with a lot of fanfare in these past six years and this year he should be able to realize that life is not perfect and everyday is not christmas. I wish him more years ahead with God’s blessing and protection. Please send my love to him. I hope your sister birthday was fun,” jawab Jordan melalui pesan singkat.

Just take it easy. It shall be well. God Almighty will see you through back home. I cover you with the blood of Jesus. In Jesus name, Amen.” kata Stephanie mengakhiri percakapan mereka.

Jujur saja, Stephanie sama sekali enggak seperti yang saya bayangkan selama ini. Jordan selalu menggambarkan Stephanie sebagai seorang istri yang menyebalkan. Namun sepertinya enggak seperti itu, bahkan hubungan mereka baik-baik saja. Tapi tahu apa saya tentang rumah tangga mereka? Kalau pun saya ingin tahu itu karena saya enggak mau merebut suami orang dan menghancurkan rumah tangga seseorang. Itu saja.

Lagipula setelah membaca pembicaraan mereka tersebut, saya jadi merasa bersalah. Andai saja saya tahu sejak awal bahwa dia masih menikah dan pernikahan mereka baik-baik saja, saya lebih memilih untuk berteman dengan Jordan. Saya enggak mau jadi homewrecker. Kasihan Stephanie.

Honey, how are you? Hope you are doing fine. When are you gonna be back to Jakarta? You should call us at least. Please take care,” kata Stephanie melalui pesan singkat pada Jordan keesokkan harinya.

My dear, the situation is not that good as I try to manage the little money with me to eat. Making an international call is very expensive in USD. I hope by weekend, I would return to Indonesia. There is only one flight from Dili to Denpasar but my return ticket has been confirmed on Saturday. I would immediately call you as soon as I arrive in Bali. Hope the boys and you are doing well. Take care with love and remain blessed!”  jawab Jordan.

Saya sebenernya bingung dengan Jordan. Apa yang Jordan inginkan dari saya? Hubungan dia dan istrinya sepertinya baik-baik saja. Mereka saling mencintai sebagai suami istri. Lalu kenapa dia berselingkuh dan menyatakan cinta pada perempuan lain. Apa yang dia cari? Seks? Kalau seks, kenapa harus menyatakan cinta? Atau uang? Sebagai perempuan, saya harus akui bahwa perempuan paling gampang diiming-iming yang namanya cinta bahkan perempuan bersedia memberikan apapun yang mereka miliki selama bisa dan mampu .

Entahlah! Saya enggak memahami Jordan sama sekali. I guess I am blindly in love with him.

My dear, you are a gift to me by God and I miss and love you more than you know. You and the kids are all I have in this life. I want you to know that and carry in your heart every time and every day. I will travel to East Timor again on Monday morning. I will be back to Jakarta on Friday. You can reach me to my Indonesia and Timorese number. Please take care. Love you.” kata Jordan melalui sebuah pesan singkat pada istrinya.

Okay honey. Take care of yourself. I love you a whole lot.  I hope your trip will go smoothly. I cover you with the blood of Jesus. In Jesus name, Amen.”

Sekali lagi, saya enggak paham dengan apa yang Jordan inginkan dalam hubungan kami. Dia mencintai istrinya dan keluarganya. Tapi masih saja dia main belakang seolah dia sama sekali enggak menghargai istrinya. Well, selama saya mengenal Jordan…. saya merasa bahwa Jordan selalu mengkelas duakan perempuan sedangkan dia sebagai laki-laki bebas melakukan apapun yang dia inginkan.

Sepertinya insting saya memang benar, Jordan hanya menginginkan uang saya. Bukankah begitu? Saya harus mulai mengujinya.

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