“A lot of times women are intimidated by other women that are pretty or that are successful or that are struck minded and can do their own things; instead of congratulate them ” Remy Ma
Tag Archives: human being
Many people love to play with their genitals. It gives us joy and satisfaction. Unfortunately many of them (or us) do not like to talk about it openly in public. Well, I do understand. Talking about sex is considered taboo in our society as we are living in a society, which is full of social norm and also religious restriction. But in the end of the day, we are human and sex is one of our basic needs.
Why do I want to talk about sex again here? Well, few days ago I went for Voluntary Counseling Test (VCT) HIV at Ruang Carlo, St. Carolus Hospital. It is not that I am playing with my genital uncontrollably but I miss to have a discussion with HIV consular about sexual health awareness. It has been for ages since the last time I did it (getting myself tested and having discussion about sexual health awareness).
This …. somehow brought back the memories to my days in Yogyakarta. Once in three months, two of my best gay friends and I always went for a regular HIV VCT in PKBI Badran, Yogyakarta.
I vividly remember when I did the HIV VCT for the first time in 2007. The consular asked me what I would do if somehow the test result came up positive? I must say that it was a really good question! I was confused, I did not know what to say because I was not sure what I would do if the test result came up positive. “Well… I think I am gonna run away. I am gonna disappear but I don’t know where tho.” I said to the consular.
Anyhow, the regular HIV VCT has really created a sexual health awareness in myself and made me understand the important of latex a.k.a condom. For me as a woman, latex is not only to prevent pregnancy but more importantly to protect ourselves from sexual transmitted disease. Why? I’ll tell you why… it is because we never know how wild our sexual partner out there. They might claim to be loyal or have been using condom while fucking around but we never really know the truth. Would you trust them easily? No!
For me, the worst nightmare is having sexual transmitted disease such as Syphilis, Herpes, Hepatitis, Gonorrhoea and also HIV/AIDS. If you want to continue your life, you have to treat those disease. Trust me, it is not gonna be fun at all because you have the obligation to be discipline in taking medication and seeing the doctor.
Anyway, I don’t find talking about sex openly in public is taboo. It actually helps me to create sexual health awareness between me and my friends to remind each other the importance of safe sex. As many of us might have been aware that we cannot go around fire expecting not to sweat especially when latex is not one of your best friend.
But ay…. HIV/AIDS or some sexual transmitted disease is not only caused by playing around with your genital but also blood transfusion and also sharing unsterile needle.
So….. Do you play with your genitals a lot? Do you have many sexual partners? And… have you ever got yourself tested? Well, if not…. get yourself tested buddy! Whatever the outcome of the test is, it is better to know earlier than later. Trust me! Don’t be afraid….
Some people ask me “Why do you want to hang around with criminal, thief or liar?” Well, I hang around with sex workers, I hang around with street thugs, I hang around with criminal and I also hang around with lesbian, gay, transgender community. Those people tend to be labeled as “bad people” in our society. We divided ourselves into group with our brain.
The question that I asked myself is who are we to judge? What makes you better than other? Does hang around with those people make me bad? Are bad people always bad? Are good people always good? What is the definition of bad and good people?
Since I was young, I like to learn from other people and people always have two side of coin, the good and the bad. I like to hang around with anyone to give me perspective of life, which I don’t get it in the school or book.
Some people might not understand it why I would hang around with them, I even have a close relationship with them. If they bring the good into our life, which is not merely material things but our behaviour, then why not?
Funny to see how arrogant we are as human and always feel better than other. Meanwhile we are only human, where in the end of our life, we would die, become corpse and return to the dust.
What makes us better than other? Is it just our job? Our education background? Our family background? Our social status? Our skin colour? With all of those that you can buy with money, are you sure that you are better than other? Let’s see ourselves in the mirror! Shall we?!
Well, I have to admit that I do that also when I hang out with my friends because they do it as well. I am not trying to justify my action.
So few days ago I met Anita, my former colleague. We had an interesting conversation about social media detox. Well, we actually talked about digital detox but I would narrow it down to social media detox. What? Social media detox? What is it all about?
Well, let me start by saying that gadget and social media is very addictive for some people, including myself. I have been actively using social media, e.g Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Path , since 2005 when I knew Friendster.com.
As time passed by, there are more and more interesting social media in the internet from hi5, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and now Path. The worse is the development of technology, especially smartphone and tablet which provide us with web-ready mobile phones and various of social media application. It makes me just want to check out what the latest news, gossip or whats going on with my friends on the social media.
But the question is do I really need those updates? Why do I need those updates?
I come to realize that since I have been using smartphone and addicted to social media, I no longer have a meaningful conversation with my friends and people around me. Even though, we are still hanging out together for lunch or dinner but we are just busy with our smartphone and check out what’s on the social media. We don’t really care why we are here together.
Other than that, social media creates a jealousy and makes people being mean ass toward their own friend without really knowing the truth. It also leads us to an ugly competition because of jealousy toward our own friend, simply because what we see in social media and people love to show off or share their experience or lifestyle in social media.
For instance “Oh how come she can get a Christian Louboutin shoes? What does she do? She must be a whore or slut. She must be a prostitute.” or “O My God… doesn’t she know that she is ugly? She shouldn’t take that kind of selfie picture.” Or Oh… She travelled to Paris. It must be her boyfriend financed it. This and that….
There are just so many negative comments from my head about other people’s life, which I actually don’t really know what is going on exactly and not one of them is our business.
So after having conversation with Anita, I decided to do a social media detox. But what is a social media detox? According to my understanding, social media detox is a therapy to remove our addiction to social media by turning off all social media account. Hence during my unpaid leave for my medication, I deactivated my Facebook, Twitter, singed out from path and deleted Instagram account. What? Delete? Yes, you read it right! I DELETE it. (Surely I would miss the silly comment of Indonesia’s First Lady, Ibu Ani Yudhoyono, in Instagram who gets irritated easily with her follower comments)
Not just that, I also deleted those social media application from my Blackberry and iPhone as well as iPad. And. I start to go out with book to read; meet up with people to have a fruitful conversation about anything.
So now the question is what is the purpose of having smartphone then? I even have two. Well…. I still can use my smartphone for receiving email and sending email plus blogging. I love blogging, I have been blogging since 2005 even though it’s not really general issue but more into personal matter but I enjoyed it anyway.
Other than that, I also can read other blogger’s post, which can inspire me in so many different ways. Be it about life, fashion, business, traveling and also Hollywood gossip.
Beside that, I also have a new hobby now, which is watching YouTube channel. I have subscribed to some interesting channel such as CrashCourse, BrainCraft, It’s Okay to Be Smart and also spacerip. When I get bored with all those scientific channel, I usually will watch my favorite singer vevo channel from Rihanna, Eminem, T.I, Tupac to Snoop Dogg.
I just have so much fun enjoying those YouTube channel. It really helps me to exercise my brain, entertain myself in different kind of way and enlarge my knowledge.
Meanwhile two weeks ago, I met my former editor. We had a very interesting conversation about life. She gave a very wise advice to turn off my social media accounts. Instead, I should read more books, newspaper and magazine to exercise my brains. She lent me a couple of Indonesia literature books, written by Umar Kayam and Leila Chudori. It was very kind of her
She also said to me “Look around you. Try to connect face to face with people, as much as you can. Look them in the eye when you talk to them. Do as much good as you can, when you can.“
As I reflected to what she said to me, I think she is 100 percent correct. I look back into my life in these last couple of years, I just live my life in the gadget and social media, while I only hang around with small circle of people. But still we are being busy with our gadget, either reading email, chatting with instant messenger or fart around on social media while hang out with other people. We really have been disconnecting with real world and real life. We just live behind the screen.
The question is now being despite the fact technology/gadget has been helping our work efficiently, when will we get tired to use our gadget in our daily life and want to get back into out real life as social being? Will we be able to sit down together with other to have a meaningful conversation again without carrying our gadget and being busy with all those social media?
But wait…. the obstacles remain. Even though I enjoyed this whole social media detox for one week, as a media worker I actually really need to use social media, especially twitter to get myself aware of the current issue. It sucks when I don’t get myself updated with the latest current issue and it’s embarrassing.
I didn’t even know when Anas Urbaningrum was arrested by KPK or I didn’t even know that the Indonesian tycoon Bakrie Family invested their money on PATH. What? I usually get myself updated and know the latest information. So what should I do now? Should I activate my twitter and Facebook again? (Well I just did anyway because of work purpose. )
In the end of the day, it actually comes down to how we use social media. Doesn’t it? It has been a week since I did social media detox. So should I get back to use so social media again but change how the way I use it? Or should I stay doing the social media detox? What do you think?
Perhaps next I will do digital detox? We’ll see
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoice in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tounge, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away – 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8