Who I am today is not a super star, who I am today is not a famous smart journalist, who I am today is not a famous writer with best seller book, but who I am today is a 24 years old woman who has an active yet curious brain and has an opportunity to make a choice in this life. But clearly I am not a stupid lazy bitch!
Few days ago, I was on the phone with one of my old buddy, whom I really respect a lot because he got a lot of experiences as a journalist and he is older than me. Actually, my intention to call him was because I would like to ask him a favor to publish a story from a press release that I sent. However, it turned out to a long conversation with him.
“I thought that you were resigned because you are moving somewhere. But look at you! You turn to be a PR company now?” he asked me in a joking manner as a friend.
“Well yes! Nothing is wrong with that, isn’t it? Especially when somebody wants to turn my goal down. Other than that instead of letting somebody else change my goal into other direction, why don’t I change my own goal if I know I can make a choice?” I responded.
“Come on, you just do not want to write Indonesian news, which is it is your mother language. Apart from that, your English is not especially good! It is so much better that you become a journalist” he still responded me with a joking manner.
“Well you know, I am only 24 years old. I just started my career in these last couple years. It takes time for somebody to be good on it. Unless I was born and raised in English speaking environment, I would not be perfect to write in English. Even my husband, who is British Canadian, took a special writing class when he was young to be able to write properly as a native speaker,” I continued.
“I believe that you did not become an editor instantly as you were graduated from university. It takes you sometimes to be who you are today and to be good at what you are doing. Let me tell you something! I vividly remember to have a conversation with two senior and respected journalists, one of them is an English native speaker and another one is Indonesian,” I went on
“The English native speaker one said to me that if he looks back and read back his first writing 20 years, he would just tear it up and throw it up to the dust bin. It is just the matter on how you train yourself. It is similar to what the Indonesian journalist said to me, we all know that we are not an English native speaker hence we cannot be able to write as perfect as we expect it would be,”
“Anyway, I just make my own choice and please respect it,” I said.
“Okay…” he responded.
*****Honestly, I got no hard feeling . But I did not appreciate what he said to me, it appeared as an insult than a joke. I believed that I handled it well without losing my temper at all. But you know, people makes choice on what kind of job do they want to do.
Sometimes I am just thinking that if I know that I can reach my goal, then I will do anything with my power to make it happen. But I will not let anyone to change my goal for their own purpose as I do not want to live somebody’s else life, I just want to live my life. I just want to be a journalist for English Language Media period. If I want to be an journalist for an Indonesian Language Media, I would have just set another goal for it and not other people set it up for me.
But let me tell you something… that I do love writing so much.
I love writing. I have been a friend of pen since I was junior high school when I joined a journalism club. I vividly remember the day when I saw my first writing was published at internal school wall magazine, I was so glad. Since then, I often trained myself to keep writing a fictional story. But as time passed by, I started to get lazy because I did not have anyone to guide me, I did not know what I had to do with all my short stories.
However later in 2005, I started my first blog in multiply (http://ethnicgirl.multiply.com), I wrote a blog with a wide range of various topic that I picked from internet or my own personal experience. I was really glad that I often got a lot of comment on my post. It was just trigger me to keep writing and writing. Therefore when I was graduated from senior high school, I decided to continue my study on journalism in Yogyakarta.
Anyway to make the long story short, in order to complete my journalism study, I must do an internship and my desire was doing an internship in an English Language Media. But unfortunately as I mentioned my desire to my dad, my dad,who has retired since 2005, said to me that he could not support me financially to do an internship outside Yogyakarta because he had to rebuild the house which was destroyed from 2006 earthquake.
To be honest, I was so upset that I might have just turned down my dream at that stage. But God has prepared other scenario which was enable me to do an internship in an English Language Media on mid 2009 in Bali and continued to do another internship on early 2010 in Jakarta. I knew that my English was not as good as I expected it would be but I was lucky that I found two companies which gave me an opportunity to train myself to write an English article.
Later on mid 2010, I was offered a job at one of growing English Language Media in Indonesia and at the same time, I won a scholarship to do one month internship at one of the biggest news agency bureau in Jakarta and a scholarship to do two weeks environmental journalism training in Thailand. Again, I was lucky to obtain all those opportunities that I got.
However in the end of 2011, I decided to quit for one reason and another. I decided to take other opportunity where I can explore myself if the worst life scenario would not be enable me to work as a journalist. Still, I did not kill my main goal to be a journalist and a writer. I am still training myself to write because writing is my passion.
In the end of the day, this is about the choice that we make to live our life. Nobody should not have judged what other people do. I often tend to ignore them who judged me for any decision that I made because I simply do not have all the time in the world to pay attention for those shits (Sorry for my word). I just want to concentrate to build my own career, to chase my own dream. Toward which direction? I cannot even tell you because life is full of surprises. However, I will accept any criticism to my decision.
One thing that I know that God loves me so much and He has never stopped showering me with blessing in my life. I should not take it for granted.
By the way, writing this piece, remind me of the opening speech of LIVE YOUR LIFE video clip by Rihanna and T.I (Clifford Joseph Harris, one of my favorite Hip Hop singer), where T.I said
Life is an interesting journey. You never know where it’ll take you. Peaks and valleys, twists and turns. You could get the surprise of your life. Sometimes on the way to where you are going, you might think this is the worst time of my life. But you know what? At the end of the road, through all the adversity if you could get to where you wanted to be, you remember whatever don’t kill you make you stronger. And all the adversity was worth it. On the way to the top, you’ll do anything but how do you get your life back when you get there? Yeah that’s my dilemma.( Clifford Joseph Harris)