Monthly Archives: April 2011

Notes: No Argument but “PAUSE!”

Every time you meet your lover, boy friend, girl friend, fiance, husband or your wife after being away for such a long period of time (because of the jobs or study), all you want to do is them how your life was or the other way around. Other than that, for them who are being in a serious relationship, there are also so many important issues which needs to be discussed (such as money, job, kids education, house, health etc) as sometimes it is impossible to do so properly through a telephone conversation.

As there are so many issues that need to be discusses and so many stories that need to be told but they only have a short period of time, all the issues and stories sometimes or often can turn to be a serious problem where an emotional argument can occur between the couple (even worse it can turn to be a nasty argument) because everything appears as if it all need to be wrapped up as tidy as possible. But, who does not want to have a good quality time in a short period of time after being separated by situation?

One thing that I noted to myself

Although the two lovers tried to maintain a ‘clear time’ with a good quality conversation where both can share their feeling, those emotional and nasty argument sometimes simply cannot be avoided.

When a couple fight over silly thing

Currently, Edward and I stay in a long distance relationship because of our job. Edward works in Timor and I work in Jakarta. Every time, we know that we meet in a short period of time (let’s say for five days), we always tell each other over the phone that there will be no fighting zone while we meet. But ‘The NO FIGHTING ZONE’ agreement does not work well. Of course, what I mean by fighting is just a normal argument which often happens among the couple.  However, we just found a new trick how we can avoid an argument among the couple and the new trick is PAUSE!

Anyway, I am glad that finally I can be with Edward again since the last time I met him in Timor (sometimes in March) because we actually did not know whether he could manage to go to Bali or not as he was so busy with his job (and I understand that). And I am so happy that he finally could manage to come to Bali and be with me only for three days. You know, three days mean alots to me to be with him because we can talk this and that, tell our stories and discuss so many things, we went out for dinner (we love Japanese food and we were back to Riyoshi, our favorite Japanese restaurant in Ubud), we went out for a walk (and a little shopping), we went out for massage, we went to Ubud market and we drove around the town with our lovely yellow motorbike (hallo yellow!)

As I was mentioning before that some conversation can lit an argument, Edward and I have said PAUSE many times if we see that there will be an argument between us. And you know how it turns out? It turns out to be something fun where we always laugh whenever anger try to walk out the door and we always say PAUSE! PAUSE! PAUSE! PAUSE! There is no argument or anger in these three days and all we have is just happiness.

No argument but PAUSE!

But, A BIG BUT, although we can avoid an argument or an anger between us, we should not avoid to discuss important issues because the sooner we talk about it, the sooner a problem can be solved. However, whenever we both know that the anger and emotion can come to lit an argument, we can just simply say PAUSE and we can just laugh.

So, if this trick works well for me, perhaps it will work well for another couple as well.

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