Monthly Archives: November 2010

Catatan: Galau

Nikotin tak pernah menjadi sahabat terbaikku kala aku sedang galau, ia hanya menjadi sahabat terbaikku kala aku sedang berpesta di lantai dansa. Itu pun kala aku bersahabat dengan dengan segelas alkohol.

Kini, aku bertanya… apa sahabat terbaikku kala aku sedang galau? Kafein atau alkohol? Mungkin, kafein dan alkohol. Kafein kala pagi dan siang hari, alkohol kala malam hari. Memang, bukan suatu kebiasaan yang bagus, namun aku galau.

Aku tersenyum pada bayangan diriku dalam cermin, berucap selamat pagi dan bertanya sudahkah aku beristirahat malam ini? Belum, kataku. Aku tengah dirundung suatu kegalauan yang tak kupahami. Ingin rasanya kutegak segelas baileys atau lyche martini, namun minum segelas coca cola saja aku sudah mau muntah. Bagaimana mungkin aku bisa menegak segelas racun?

Dear universe, I want to ask you a question and here is the question ‘What am I looking for actually? Am I looking for an answer or am I looking for a centainty? But, what kind of answer am I looking for actually?’

Belum ada jawaban, belum ada petunjukkan, semuanya nampak kabur dalam pikiranku. Dan kembali kutinggalkan catatan pada hatiku pagi ini.

Minggu, 21 November 2010 || 05:50 WIB


Beberapa bulan ini, jiwaku berpetualang

Menyusur jalan untuk sebuah jawaban

Hati dan pikiran bertanya, siapa yang benar

Riuh debat antara hati dan pikiran

Kutinggalkan begitu saja mereka di antara semak kegundahan

Untuk menemukan sebuah kepastian atau sekedar jawaban


Kularungkan galau demi galau dalam setetes racun

Atau justru dalam segengam kenikmatan

Namun tak jua kurasakan jawaban atau kepastian

Aku tersenyum

Mungkin sebuah kesejukan hati yang tengah kucari

Yang dapat kutemui di dalam hutan mahoni

Sebuah catatan pagi untuk hati akan kegundahan yang ada dalam pikiran. Entah apa yang aku pikirkan, aku pun tak tahu. Entah apa yang aku cari, aku pun ragu. Aku hanya merindukan suatu kesejukan hati  yang tak dapat kutemukan melalui nikotin, alkohol atau pun kafein.signature

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Notes: 2010 Is Another Good Chapter

I wanna be a journalist [2009: MD]

I wanna be a journalist [2009: MD]

I can’t believe that today is nearly mid November 2010 already, which means … we just have one and half more months to go to 2011. Time is indeed ticking so quick.

Well, despite the fact that the time is ticking so quick, I would say that 2010 is the best year I’ve ever had in these last five years. I had an internship for three months at JG on January to April, I won a scholarship from JFCC, I got my stories published in national publication, I won the other scholarship from Fojo Media Institute, Sweden to do an environmental journalism course in Thailand for two weeks, my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I got my dream job.

Somehow, all the good things which happened to me bring me into a stage when I moved to Jakarta early this year for three months.

One Sunday morning, I decided to take a trip to visit Kota Tua or Jakarta Old Town in North Jakarta instead of spending time in the shopping mall. Kota Tua is well-known as the center of historical tourism object in Jakarta which also offers various attraction to the tourist, such as Museum Fatahillah or Museum Wayang as historical building; Kuda Lumping or Ondel-ondel as traditional street performance; kerak telor, toge goreng or tahu gejrot as street food and also bicycle tour. Other than those attractions, we also can find a fortune-teller or temporary tattoo artist there.

I vividly remember, there was one middle-aged man sitting on the right side of the side-walk, he wore simple Koko shirt (Muslim Shirt), black pants and black taqiyah (Muslim Cap). He was surrounded by several girls who wants to be told about their future. Seeing what he was doing and listening to what he was saying to the young girl, I was interested to tried. In 20 minutes, he told me about my career, my love life, my education, my health condition and my family.

And in the end, he said to me “You will be successful woman, you will get your dream job and a man will ask you to marry him” Frankly, I have never really believed for what fortune-teller said but if what he said become true then I think it might happen by chance.

And, 2010 passes so quick. All the good things which happened to me remind me of what fortune-teller told me. Yes, I feel so grateful what I got this year. I will say, it is just a starter. There are so many things that I am going to face it in the near future either it is related with my personal life or my career.

I believe that as a mankind, we have the ability to write our own story and design our own life. So, as a new comer in journalism, I promise myself to work as hard as possible to reach all my dreams and be happy with my job as it is my dream job.


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