Catatan: Berpendapat

Saya ini… payah! Sejak duduk di bangku sekolah lalu melanjutkan pendidikan di perguruan tinggi, saya selalu takut untuk berpendapat. Saya takut kalau saya salah. Saya takut kalau pendapat saya bodoh. Dua hal tersebut membuat saya cenderung mengunci mulut saya di tengah-tengah diskusi dengan topik menarik. Padahal apa salahnya kalau kita salah, apakah pendapat mereka sudah pasti benar? Lalu kenapa saya berkecil hati…?!

Mungkin karena saya merasa jelek, item, kriting dan krempeng. Kombinasi ideal untuk menjadi jelek untuk masyarakat kita yang mengidealkan bahwa cantik itu, putih, kurus dan berambut lurus panjang. Dari situ, saya kerap berpikir bahwa saya takut untuk diejek. “Udah jelek, bodoh pula!“. Enggak tahu kenapa hal tersebut menjadi suatu masalah besar bagi saya.

Tetapi kebiasaan saya menulis buku harian sejak kecil membuat saya berani berpendapat melalui tulisan. Dari buku harian yang sifatnya pribadi, saya menemukan internet forum lalu kemudian blog saat saya masih duduk di bangku sekolah menengah atas (2003/2004).

Waktu itu, internet masih merupakan barang mahal. Untuk mengakses internet, saya harus ke internet cafe dan mengeluarkan Rp 4,000 per jam untuk dapat mengakses internet. Di situ saya menemukan dunia saya, saya bisa berpendapat tanpa orang tahu bagaimana bentuk muka saya, warna kulit saya atau jenis rambut saya. Saya enggak takut diejek karena penampilan fisik saya yang jauh dari definisi cantik.

Toh, orang enggak bisa melihat foto diri saya. Maklum waktu itu kamera digital belum terlalu populer untuk mengambil foto diri ribuan kali. Apalagi  foto selfie, istilah itu pun sepertinya belum ada. Kalau mau foto masih pakai roll film atau harus ke studio atau photo box.

Tahun 2005, saya pun menemukan multiply.com. Saya kembali menemukan ruang di mana saya bisa berbagi tentang berbagai macam hal, mulai dari catatan harian pribadi, pendapat saya tentang topik hangat, foto atau musik. Saya pun membangun pertemanan virtual dengan orang-orang yang sama sekali enggak saya kenal.

Meskipun pertemuan hanya terjadi secara virtual saja tapi saya merasa tahu mereka dari tulisan mereka atau postingan mereka. Ada yang suka traveling, ada yang suka memasak lalu berbagi resep makanan. Ada yang suka nonton film, ada juga yang suka photography. Ada yang suka politik, ada juga yang suka belajar bahasa dan budaya.

Bisa dikatakan bahwa berbagai macam diskusi tentang ide dan pikiran pun terbangun di antara para blogger. Yang menarik adalah enggak ada yang 100% benar atau 100% salah. Bahkan, seingat saya jarang netizen yang sangat amat defensive waktu itu atau saya jarang menemukan akun bodong yang bertujuan untuk menipu atau menyerang pihak-pihak tertentu.

Bukan hanya itu, saya pun bisa belajar dari orang lain apalagi kebanyakan dari para blogger tersebut, usianya jauh lebih tua dari saya, jadi mereka sudah banyak makan garam. Saya belajar bahwa pikiran orang itu macam-macam, saya belajar untuk memberi kesempat orang lain untuk berpendapat dan menghargai pendapat orang lain sekalipun saya enggak setuju.

Pada tahun 2006/2007, saya mulai bertemu dengan mpers (blogger pengguna multiply) di Yogya. Pertemanan terbentuk, meskipun kemudian kami jarang bertemu. Belum lagi multiply yang kemudian berubah menjadi e-commerce platform, lalu almarhum alias tutup. Walhasil  saya jarang ngeblog dan berinteraksi dengan kawan-kawan blogger.

Jujur saja, meskipun saya sudah blogging selama satu dekade, saya masih takut membuka mulut saya untuk berpendapat di tengah orang-orang yang enggak saya kenal dekat. Bagaimana kalau salah? Bagaimana kalau saya terdengar bodoh?  Bahkan sebagai kuli tinta, saya lebih memilih melakukan ‘wawancara ekslusif’ dengan narasumber karena saya enggak akan terlihat bodoh di mata orang lain. Payah sekali! Ya…. saya ini payah!

Saya iri dengan mereka yang berani mengungkapkan pendapat tanpa takut mereka salah. Saya iri dengan mereka yang cenderung lantang dan berpikir kritis dalam berdiskusi.

Hal ini membuat saya bertanya, apakah ketakutan saya ini karena saya orang Jawa dan cenderung nrimo? Kalau itu sih enggak ada hubungannya! Atau apakah ketakutan ini sebenarnya berasal dari dunia pendidikan kita yang enggak mengajarkan siswa untuk berdiskusi sejak dini? Apakah ketakutan ini sebenarnya berasal dari pendidikan kita di mana guru atau dosen HARUS digugu dan ditiru serta selalu benar karena mereka adalah guru? Well bisa jadi. Dan ini harus diubah agar siswa enggak takut berpendapat dan dapat membangun diskusi yang kritis di kemudian hari.

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Catatan: Indonesia dan Rohingnya

Dukungan online terhadap pemerintah Indonesia untuk menerima dan menampung etnis Rohingnya terus meningkat setelah mereka tidak mendapatkan tempat di Myanmar, Thailand dan Malaysia.  Sementara itu warga  Syiah di Sampang, warga Ahmadiyah di Lombok dan Jawa Barat dan juga masyarakat Papua, yang notabene adalah warga negara Indonesia, terus usir dari negaranya / tempat tinggal mereka sendiri. Hak konstitusi mereka sebagai warga negara tidak terakomodasi.

Belum lagi politisi dari partai agama yang selama ini cenderung mendukung diskriminasi terhadap warga Syiah dan Ahmadiyah sekarang meminta pemerintah Indonesia untuk membantu warga Rohingnya atas nama Pancasila. Pancasila yang sekarang mungkin hanya tinggal teori semata.

Memang atas dasar kemanusiaan kita harus membantu mereka, tapi seberapa jauh kita harus membantu mereka, seberapa lama kita harus membantu mereka lalu bagaimana dengan saudara kita sendiri yang terusir dari negeri ini? Ironi!

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Music: Same Mistakes

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again, I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street;
Look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.

Hello, hello.
There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy, does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.

And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night.
Said he’d seen my enemy.
Said “he looked, just like me”,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I’m not calling for a second chance,
I’m screaming at the top of my voice!
Give me reason but don’t give me choice.
‘Cause I’ll just make the same mistake again.

And maybe someday we will meet,
And maybe talk, and not just speak.
Don’t buy the promises ’cause, there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me- so here I go.

I’m not calling for a second chance,
I’m screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don’t give me choice,
‘Cause I’ll just make the same mistake.

I’m not calling for a second chance,
I’m screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don’t give me choice,
‘Cause I’ll just make the same mistake again.

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Wardrobe: Dress For The Weather

Grey Turkey [2014: E R]

Grey Turkey [2014: E R]

For a slave of fashion, who come from tropical country, a.k.a myself, visiting four season region gives me a lot of imagination and/or idea about what kind of outfit that I want to wear during the fall and winter season. Whether it is what kind of coat, what kind of boots, what kini of scarf, what kind of jacket, what kind of hat, what kind of glove, what kind of dress, etc. While my imagination is going wild, the weather actually makes me having difficult choice because I have limited collection of fall/winter outfit. I just don’t want to purchase a lot of fall/winter outfits because I realize that I do not need all of those attire when I return to my home country, Indonesia. 

The touch of red [2015: E R]

The touch of red [2015: E R]

Anyway, last Christmas, I travelled to Istanbul of Turkey to celebrate Christmas and New Year. Yeah momma…it was winter. On the first few days in Turkey, the weather was pretty good. It was about 17 degree celsius, I had no problem with it. It was cold but it was not freezing cold. I still could deal with it.

it is not real fur but faux fur [2015: E R]

it is not real fur but faux fur [2015: E R]

As the day passed by, the weather got worse and worse. It even dropped to 1 degree celsius. Not just that, it was wet winter with rain and snow. It made me very conscious about what kind of outfit that I was going to wear because no matter how many layer I was wearing, I still suffered from the winter cold.

Dress up for the weather [2015: E R]

Dress up for the weather [2015: E R]

As the weather got worse, I asked myself should I dress for the fashion or should I dress for the weather? I decided that I must dress up for the weather. I ain’t gonna let myself suffering from the cold while enjoying the beauty of Constantinople. Would you?

Cheers

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Notes: Monetize Your Genitalia? Part II

Our society glorify relationship and romance so much. So as soon as we heard about the law enforcement officer or the government made an effort to curb prostitution and it received a lot of media exposures, many people start talking about the morality behind the prostitution business scene, be it the sex worker, the customer and the pimp.

I must say that I respect those, who sell their body to provide sex service openly -regardless to fulfill their basic need or lifestyle-. It is because they are being HONEST, being REAL.

Does it mean that I support prostitution? In a way. Or let me say that I support the legalization of prostitution. But I do not encourage anyone to do so if they know they can do something else to make money. And again, I am not talking about those who are being sold by human trafficking syndicate or forced to work as sex worker by their own family or relatives, it is just two different thing. I am talking about those, who chose to do it with their own will for whatever reason they do have.

So while you are sexualy active but you cannot have sex with your real lover (if you have one) because of certain reason and you cannot find any phuck buddy to fulfill your sexual need without involving feeling and respecting each other, I think it is way better than to be with a sex worker to fulfill your sexual need. It is way better than to be with the-so-called-lover, who just want your money, play mind game and play with your heart.

Why? Because the-so-called lover usually would immidiately leave you and break your heart as soon as u have no penny left. Would you let yourself enter into an artificial relationship with a lot of drama and make you unhappy, while what you two need are money and sex? Again, there are supply and demand! PS: In case you don’t know that there are FEMALE and MALE sex workers out there, so don’t blame it on the womenfolk or being judgmental toward the womenfolk only.

Since the murder of Deudeuh Avisah Rini, who reportedly is a sex worker and offered her service online, as well as the arrest of RA, a pimp who reportedly has a network of 200 hi-class sex worker, prostitution has once again become a topic of discussion among the Indonesian netizens.

List of phone number of Indonesian celebrities, who allegedly involved in prostitution business and offered an incredibly high rate up to 200 million IDR (18,000 USD), has been going viral through the net. Many people made a fun out of it while sharing it in the social media.

According to the comments on list of Indonesian celebrities, who allegedly provide sex service, many Indonesian netizens suddenly turn to be saint and feel way better than them, who work as a sex worker and become the customer of prostitution business. Call me that I am too serious or whatever responding on this issue. I just feel that there is just something odd and ironic about it. I do not really see people talking about the health problem and the awareness of reproductive health awareness. All the discussions were about morality, money, sex and politics.

But ay… what about if the prostitution issue is actually being used to drive public opinion to cover up some dirty business among the Indonesian politicians, who want to attack each other? And we are dragged into their drama. Just like last year during 2014 Indonesian Presidential Election, the Indonesian netizens were invited to make a fun of presidential candidates.

As you might have been aware that the National Police Controversial Figure Budi Waseso, who is also the national police detective chief, made a statement that the National Police Criminal Investigation Directorate would involve in handling the the celebrity prostitution case.

At the same time, many of you might also be aware that POLRI has been ‘actively’ curbing corruption cases in the country after Budi Gunawan failed to be the National Police Chief and a number of KPK-POLRI saga. Somehow there is an indication that the customer of hi-class prostitution business, who is likely to be politician, is being targeted by the law enforcement officer for certain political purpose. Who is that? Who knows! Is it true? Time would tell.

But would we let ourselves entering into their drama and being judgmental toward sex worker and the customers, who might be happy with what they are doing? I really get bored reading all the news on hi-class and online prostitution and read the judgmental discussion about the same issue again every day in the internet. Please…. give me a break!

It is just my opinion, you can agree or disagree. Cheers

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Notes: God and Religion

There is nothing new under the sun, so I write same issue again. 

The concept of belief and religion has always been fascinating for me. The dynamic of our daily life lead me to wonder why religion have divided and categorized us as human being and place us into different place.

When I was kid, I often wondered why neighbor chose to be Islam and my family chose to be Catholic? Why is a friend of mine Hindu? Is it true that certain religion better than other? Is it true if one convert from one religion to other religion, would commit sin?

And when I was teenager, I asked myself what is religion? Who created religion at the first place? Do we have to have a religion? What about being atheist? Will we go to hell if we don’t believe in God? Does heaven and hell even exist?

I had no where to go find those answer back that time. I did not know what kind of book that I should read to find the answer. There was no way that I could find the answer at school nor in the family. It is because I am living in the society where everyone has been tied to certain religion since the second we were born.

But as I entered university, I started to understand that religion is just a product of social construction. Nothing less, nothing more. And I do agree with that. However I always do believe that our existence happen because of God. I refused to understand all the scientific argument about our existence because it is just too complicated to understand.

And yes, I do believe with the existence of God. God is the easiest answer of our life existence. Having said that one can always believe in God without being tied to certain religion. Yet, my faith in God is not strong. It comes and goes.

For me, religion is a set of concept about the way we live our lives and the things that we consider important. It is a guidance for us to live our life accordingly. It talks about kindness. It talks about love. It talks about injustice. It also talks about wickedness. Religion is a set of reminder of how we should do good while we live our lives. That’s all.

In these last four years, I have been learning about Christianity. Why? It is because I want to search and find the balance between mind, body and soul.

Yet,  having myself learning about Christianity, I still do not consider myself as a Christian or Catholic or even a religious person. I still have no interest to engage to church activity. But I go to Sunday service , I carry prayer pocket book and I have a great interest in reading the bible to understand about Christianity and religion. And ay… I even had a huge tattoo cross on my back.

As I completed reading the old testament and new testament,  I learnt that bible content a set of beautiful teaching on how we should treat each other as human beings, an excellent reminder on how we should live our life as part of community.  Bible is a book of wisdom and love.

Few days ago, someone asked me why does one have to go to church to know about the concept of being good to other? So I answered “It is because we, human being, are arrogant to always feel knowing everything; while sometimes we forget and go astray. It is always good to have a reminder.

But some event of life showed me another side of the coin. It showed that many people tie themselves into religion because they actually feel insecure about the reality of life. They seek for comfort within the bible and look for bible verse, which comfort him or her.

I do the same. I seek for comfort words when I am facing difficulty, which I could not find it from other people. I usually seek from either book -including bible- or music.

Yet, they quote a bible verse bit by bit without having a full of understanding of it. Later, they use it to judge other and justify their own action. Why? Because they believe that God would always forgive and save us.

You see …. one might read  bible on the daily basis. One might know how to preach about it also. One might engage in a number of church activity. Even, there is no Sunday service that one is going to miss as much as possible. 

Yet, what’s the point of being very religious and have a strong faith in God but have no idea to implement those religious teaching? It is just talk the talk? But at the end, implementing religious value is our own choice, we would reap what we sow. 

As I learnt, I always feel good when I do good; I always feel restless when I do bad to others. It has nothing to do with religion.

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Notes: Health-Conscious Society

I noticed that the Indonesian culinary industry has been growing rapidly in these last five years. All the food look super duper delicious, it is affordable and has a wide variety of choice. But who could guarantee that those food are healthy food?! 

Interestingly enough with the growth of culinary industry and the increase of consumer’s buying power, more and more people actually become more health conscious and watch out what they eat.

Not just that, more and more people are encouraged to be active and engaging in exercise activities, be it yoga, gym, running or cycling. Picture and video of those activities are circulated in the internet to encourage each other to do positive things for their own benefit. More and more people try to make a time to do exercise. 

It is indeed  interesting to see the changing of lifestyle within our community. Don’t you think so?

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